Verse 1 – The Warning] Phones start buzzing like a compliance drill gone rogue, Dogs pacing circles, cats already remote. Sirens spinning soft as a calendar invite, Ground humming secrets no one bothers to type. Seismographs scribbling the last polite memo, Ocean clearing its throat for the keynote show. [Chorus] Richter nine, Richter nine, the plates just hit send, Skyline’s about to learn what “core competency” meant. Buttholes clenched tighter than a boardroom in freefall, Tsunami drafting reviews in permanent saltwater scrawl. Nine on the scale and the meeting’s begun, Welcome to the only all-hands that ends when it’s done. [Verse 2 – The Quake] Nine hits the needle, the crust files the motion, Buildings moonwalk sideways through the open-plan ocean. Glass decides the dress code is shattered formal, Highways folding origami while the subways go normal. Skyscrapers lean in for the ultimate pitch, Mantle renegotiating every lease without a hitch. [Chorus] Richter nine, Richter nine, the plates just hit send, Skyline’s about to learn what “core competency” meant. Buttholes clenched tighter than a boardroom in freefall, Tsunami drafting reviews in permanent saltwater scrawl. Nine on the scale and the meeting’s begun, Welcome to the only all-hands that ends when it’s done. [Bridge – The After] Dust settles like the final expense report no one signs, Rescue crews clocking in while the aftershocks still bill time. Survivors updating LinkedIn—“Open to inland roles,” Insurance multiplying faster than the original holes. Earth closed the books with a five-star review, Everything we leveraged just defaulted on cue. [Final Chorus] Richter nine, Richter nine, the plates just hit send, Skyline’s about to learn what “core competency” meant. Buttholes clenched tighter than a boardroom in freefall, Tsunami drafting reviews in permanent saltwater scrawl. Nine on the scale and the meeting’s begun, Welcome to the only all-hands that ends when it’s done.
