Pick

Pick a pocket or a prayer, still ain't sure which pays Pick your poison early, then you live with it always Momma used to say the quietest ones spend the most Nobody counts what it costs you till you're already a ghost I remember the night I packed a bag and sat in the driveway Engine running, hands shaking, couldn't pick which way Called my sister, she ain't pick up, called the number for the help line Sat there till the sun came up, told myself I'd be fine Monday came, put the blazer on, walked into the room Told 'em I was thriving, kept my shaking hands out of view Pick your poison: therapy or a trophy Pick your poison: prayin' or preyin', ain't nobody sorry Solvent or dissolving, ain't much difference no more Every dollar that I bank just means I got more to lose now, fuck Therapist asked what I'm running from, I said "everything I built" The house, the name, the whole persona bought on borrowed time I used to think the breakdown was the end of my whole plan Turns out it was just page one I couldn't understand Sister called me back a week later, said she saw the signs Said she almost lost her too, said we come from the same lines Same blood, same silence, same hands shakin' on the wheel Different debts, same interest, same price we gotta feel Pick your poison: therapy or a trophy Pick your poison: prayin' or preyin', ain't nobody sorry Solvent or dissolving, ain't much difference no more Every dollar that I bank just means I got more to lose now, fuck Nobody warns you healing means you start from broke Nobody tells you honesty's the most expensive joke Rather burn the image than keep paying to maintain it Rather go broke honest than get rich just to fake it Pick your poison, I already made my choice Rather live in the red with an honest voice Solvent or dissolving doesn't own me anymore I stopped chasing the dollar that kept me keeping score