[Chorus] I ask you, “Who taught the pears to vote?” You say, “The mayor was a goat.” I ask you, “Why does Tuesday wear my shoe?” You say, “It borrowed it from you.” I ask you, “Who taught the pears to vote?” You say, “The mayor was a goat.” I ask you, “Why does Tuesday wear my shoe?” You say, “It borrowed it from you.” [Verse 1] I keep a tiny courtroom in my sock drawer. The judge is a turnip with a paper crown. You bring a witness, who is mostly elbows, and swear he saw the moon apply for work. I write the minutes on a slice of toast. The toast objects. You tell it to be patient. It starts a union with the jam. By noon, the jam has taken every chair. I ask you if this counts as lunch. You say the chairs have filed a complaint. [Chorus] I ask you, “Who taught the pears to vote?” You say, “The mayor was a goat.” I ask you, “Why does Tuesday wear my shoe?” You say, “It borrowed it from you.” I ask you, “Who taught the pears to vote?” You say, “The mayor was a goat.” I ask you, “Why does Tuesday wear my shoe?” You say, “It borrowed it from you.” [Verse 2] I take the stairs down into a singing cupboard. A dozen forks are rehearsing for the sea. You hand me one that knows my childhood password. It says my name, then asks to be set free. I ask you, “From what?” You answer, “From the sauce.” The sauce has hired a brass quartet. They play a tune that makes the wallpaper hiccup. I hiccup back; the wallpaper calls me cousin. I wave politely to the ceiling’s new accountant. He says my eyebrows owe him six balloons. You pay him with a compliment about his hat. He leaves us a receipt for one small planet. We fold it into a paper boat. [Bridge] I launch the boat in a glass of orange juice. You call it captain; it salutes the spoon. The spoon asks whether we have seen its twin. I tell it, “Maybe Tuesday took it too.” You say the pears are meeting after supper. I ask if goats can serve as judges. You say they can, but only on alternate moons. I ask the turnip where the courtroom went. It whispers, “Somewhere under your left elbow.” [Chorus] I ask you, “Who taught the pears to vote?” You say, “The mayor was a goat.” I ask you, “Why does Tuesday wear my shoe?” You say, “It borrowed it from you.” I ask you, “Who taught the pears to vote?” You say, “The mayor was a goat.” I ask you, “Why does Tuesday wear my shoe?” You say, “It borrowed it from you.” [Outro] I ask you, “Is the moon still taking applications?” You look at me and count the forks again. Then every pear raises one small hand. I ask you, “Who gets to be the mayor now?”
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