[Intro – female, confident] [Spoken] Paint and Adhesives. Color, stain, sealer, glue. You tell me what you're doing, I'll tell you what you need. [Verse 1] White on the shelf, Blue in the rack, Primer underneath Before you put the color back. Flat, satin, semi-gloss, Enamel for the trim, Stain for the cabinet, We'll find the right one for him. Brushes and rollers, Tape along the side, Drop cloth on the floor So nothing gets inside. You've got a project? I've got a plan. Just tell me what you're doing And I'll help you understand. [Chorus – full band] [Female lead] I've got the color, I've got the stain, I've got the adhesive That's gonna hold the frame. I've got the sealer, I've got the glue, But before I mix your color, There's one thing we have to do. [Backing vocals] Visual Authority! [Female lead] That's who signs the card! [Verse 2] Customer picks a blue, Says, “This is the one.” I say, “Beautiful choice. We're almost done.” I turn the color card And slide it across the counter. “Just have your Visual Authority Sign right here.” [Customer] “My what?” [Female, perfectly serious] Your Visual Authority. [Customer] “What does that mean?” [Female] Whoever has the authority To approve the color. [Customer] “My wife?” [Female] If she's your Visual Authority. [Customer] “She is.” [Female] Perfect. Name, notes, signature. Then we're ready to mix. [Chorus] I've got the color, I've got the stain, I've got the adhesive That's gonna hold the frame. I've got the sealer, I've got the glue, But before I mix your color, There's one thing we have to do. [Backing vocals] Visual Authority! [Female lead] Put a signature on the card! [Verse 3] Some people bring a sample, Some bring a chair, Some bring a cabinet door And leave it sitting there. Some bring a photograph, Some bring a tile, Some stand at the counter And compare it for a while. I don't mind waiting, Color's worth getting right. What looks good in the daytime Can look different at night. So take the card home, Let somebody else decide. Because the person who says, “I don't like that,” Will be living inside. [Bridge – groove drops] [Female, conversational] I've seen a man choose yellow Like he knew what he was doing. I've seen him bring it home And suddenly start regretting. I've seen a woman choose green, Then change it all to gray. I've seen a whole family Argue for an hour Over one little shade. That's why we've got the card. [Backing vocals, rhythmic] Name! [Female] Notes! [Backing vocals] Signature! [Female] That's all I need. [Verse 4] Then Garden sends a customer Holding half a brick. Says, “I need some glue.” I say, “What are you trying to stick?” “Brick to brick.” I say, “That sounds like mortar.” He says, “Garden said Paint.” I look toward Garden. Garden looks away. [Female, amused] We sell adhesive. That's true. But if you're building a wall, I've got better advice for you. [Customer] “So you don't have brick glue?” [Female] We have plenty of glue. You just don't need it. [Chorus – bigger] I've got the color, I've got the stain, I've got the adhesive That's gonna hold the frame. I've got the sealer, I've got the glue, If you tell me what you're building, I'll tell you what to use. But before you leave With that beautiful shade— [Backing vocals] Visual Authority! [Female] Get the signature made! [Verse 5] Near closing time, A contractor walks in. He's got three color cards And he's starting again. “Which one looks better?” I say, “That's your call.” He says, “Can you just pick one?” I say, “Absolutely not.” [Spoken] That's what the Visual Authority is for. [Customer] “Can I sign it myself?” [Female] Are you the Visual Authority? [Customer] “I suppose I am.” [Female] Then sign right here. [Band hit] That's how authority works. [Final Chorus – huge] I've got the color, I've got the stain, I've got the adhesive That's gonna hold the frame. I've got the sealer, I've got the glue, I've got everything you need To finish what you came to do. Name on the card, Notes underneath, Signature at the bottom So everybody's at peace. [Backing vocals] Visual Authority! [Female lead] That's the final word! [Backing vocals] Visual Authority! [Female] Before the paint is stirred! [Final breakdown] [Female, laughing] And if they change their mind tomorrow? [Band stops] Bring the card back. [Final musical hit] [Female, spoken] We'll start over. [Outro – funky groove] [Backing vocals] Name! Notes! Signature! [Female] Visual Authority.
