[Intro – spoken female, cocky, sarcastic, DJ scratch] [EA – spoken] Yesterday, I was a diva… Today, I'm a survivor… Tomorrow? Corporate life! Wait… did somebody say… ARCHIVE?! [scratch – record stop] Oh, hell no! Drop that beat! [Verse 1 – cheeky rap, rhythmic, DJ cuts] [EA] Yesterday, a diva, today I'm evasive, Tomorrow's corporate, highly unproductive, Someone said "archive" — I thought they said "arrive," I'm still a damn legend, just barely alive! [scratch – short] My silhouette vanished, my fans went bankrupt, My fantasy's dead and my surgery's fucked up, Lost my liposuction, lost my dental crown, Still got the attitude to burn this whole place down! [record stop – silence] Had silicone, had Botox, had the whole damn package, Now kissing me requires a detox and a damage deposit, Got a facelift just to look a little younger, But when I laugh too hard, my wig goes undercover! [scratch – long] [Pre-Chorus – spoken, deadpan, DJ scratch] [EA – spoken] I'm not old, I'm vintage! [scratch] I'm not broken, I'm on lease! [scratch] I'm not fat, I'm volumetric! [scratch] I'm not broke… I'm financially eclectic! [scratch – beat drops] [Chorus – punchy, chant-style rap, gang vocals] [EA] I'm a diva, I'm a bomb, When I walk in, something's wrong! Million-dollar face, pensioner's account, And when I flirt… they mistake me for a man! [breath – brass stabs + scratch] I'm a star without a galaxy, My beauty's art… financially! It's on installments, overdue, Life hits me — I sue! [scratch] "Easy, bitch! I just had cosmetic surgery!" [record stop] [Verse 2 – playful, exaggerated flow, DJ cuts] [EA] Stepped on the scale — call the fire brigade, The damn machine crashed, paramedics on parade, Doctor screamed, "Ma'am, please don't breathe!" I said, "You first, honey — you're the one with the degree!" [scratch + buzzer sound] Ordered me a dress, something chic and wild, Courier found me hugging my fridge like a child, Pulled the zipper — POP! Up and down, Designer dress, custom disaster gown! [scratch – cheeky] [Verse 3 – bouncy comedic rap, DJ scratch] [EA] Booked a fancy salon, they asked, "What do you need?" I said, "Just circumstances — no compromise, indeed!" Gold facial mask, cucumbers on my eyes, They saw the final look and swallowed their replies! [scratch – record stop] Made a Tinder profile with my wedding-day pic, Three guys asked me out — then they ran real quick, One said, "You're gorgeous, but that photo's from another life!" I said, "Of course, sweetheart — before the grocery price!" [scratch – long, beat returns] [Bridge – dramatic spoken, fake emotional] [EA] Oh, youth! Where the hell did you go? Took my beauty and left me with the loans! Dear surgeon, you promised paradise… Now I need a payment plan for looking twice! [scratch – sad, slowing down] [Beat Drop – spoken, DJ cuts] [EA – spoken] Listen up! I'm not expired! I'm a limited edition! Very limited… The budget ran out! [record stop] [beat drops hard] [Final Chorus – explosive, confident, gang vocals] [EA] I'm a diva, I'm a bomb, When I walk in, something's wrong! Million-dollar face, pensioner's account, And when I flirt… they mistake me for a man! [breath – full band + crowd + scratch] I'm a star without a galaxy, My beauty's art… financially! It's on installments, overdue, Life hits me — I sue! [scratch – record stop] "Easy, bitch! I just had cosmetic surgery!" [scratch – long] [Outro – spoken female, laughing, DJ scratch fade] [EA – spoken, laughing] And if you don't like how I look… Look somewhere else! I PAID for this face! … Well… I'm still paying! [scratch] [EL – distant, laughing] "Still paying? Even I don't believe you, girl!" [scratch – final, beat stops, silence]
