[INTRO — HEAD CHEERLEADER, SPOKEN] Okay ladies, smiles on. Real smiles, Tiffany — not hostage smiles. Ponytails high, standards higher. If anybody drops me, I will remember. Five, six— GIRLS: Seven, eight! HEAD: Oh good. You can count. Hit it. [VERSE 1] Lip gloss shining, sneakers squeak, sweet little smile but my mouth gets cheeky, bow tied tight and my timing precise, I can say “good luck” and make it sound like advice. High kick left, little wink right, look this cute while I’m picking a fight, you brought opinions? Darling, how sweet— leave ’em by the bleachers, keep up with the beat. [BVs — silky, teasing] Ooh-ahh… pretty little problem… Mm-mm… somebody stop her… [PRE-CHORUS] Hands on hips, chin up high, sugar in the smile, thunder in the eye, you can roll yours, I’ll roll mine too— I’m a cheerleader— [CHORUS] LEAD: What are you gonna do about it? GIRLS: Ooh! What you gonna do? LEAD: Got the bounce, got the nerve, got the attitude around it, GIRLS: Rah-rah, tell the truth! LEAD: Cute little bow but I came to move, two-four-six-eight, watch me wreck your groove, I’m a cheerleader— GIRLS: She’s a cheerleader! LEAD: What are you gonna do about it? [VERSE 2] Pom-poms shaking like scandal in sequins, everybody watching like they know my reasons, Tiffany’s on tiptoe, trying not to sway, blinking like a deer in a mascara display. I clap on one, I snap on three, somewhere in between I develop a personality, you wanted sunshine? Baby, absolutely— with a seventy-percent chance of me. [BVs] La-la-la… look at her go… Ooh-ooh-ooh… somebody say no… HEAD: Nobody say no. [CHEER ROUTINE BREAK — MUSIC STRIPS TO DRUMS/CLAPS] HEAD: Formation! Pretty faces, questionable choices! Five-six-seven-eight— Step! Clap! Turn! Pose! Smile like somebody owes you clothes! Left! Right! Dip! Freeze! GIRLS: Please, please, please! HEAD: Not begging, ladies. Branding. Kick! Snap! Hair! Drop! Hit that beat and make it pop! Two steps back— one up front— give me cute— GIRLS: Cute! HEAD: Give me blunt— GIRLS: BLUNT! HEAD: Give me “who exactly asked you?” GIRLS: WHO EXACTLY ASKED YOU?! HEAD: Beautiful. Again with less emotional damage. [MELODY BREAK] GIRLS: Ooh-ee-ooh… ah-ah-ah… Sha-la-la, sha-la-la… Hey-ey-ey… ooh… LEAD: Mm-hmm… keep smiling. [BRIDGE] I can tumble, I can fly, I can compliment your shoes while I’m passing you by, I can lift, I can land, I can run this whole routine with one hand. Don’t mistake sparkle for surrender, sweet doesn’t mean I don’t remember, I cheer loud, but here’s the clue— sometimes the person I’m cheering for is me, not you. [FINAL CHORUS — BIGGER] LEAD: I’m a cheerleader—what are you gonna do about it? GIRLS: WHAT YOU GONNA DO? LEAD: Got the rhythm, got the mouth, no point dancing around it, GIRLS: Tell ’em, captain, tell the truth! LEAD: Bow on my head, fire in my shoes, if confidence annoys you, darling, that sounds like you, I’m a cheerleader— GIRLS: SHE’S A CHEERLEADER! LEAD: What are you gonna do— [STOP] HEAD, spoken: Nothing? Perfect. Tiffany, that smile is still on airplane mode. Places for the photo. [GIRLS — SWEET HARMONY] Ooooooh… rah-rah… HEAD: And somebody fix Tiffany’s bow. And if Tiffany blinks in the picture, we crop Tiffany.
