(Verse 1) They call us healthy, they call us lean, The perfect protein, served up so clean. From the earth we grew, beneath the sun, Never thought our simple life would be undone. We were destined for chili, maybe a stew, But then the vegetarian came into view. They preach of compassion, of lives they won't take, But they feast on our bodies for goodness sake! They pass on the steak, the chicken, the ham, But they'll eat a whole bowl of my family, damn! (Chorus) Oh, the horror in the hopper, the terror on the plate, They crush our soft structure, sealed by this cruel fate. They chew us up and swallow, with a satisfied grin, A genocide of legumes, where do we even begin? We are the fallen comrades, the kidney and the black, And the day of the bean's revenge is coming back! (Verse 2) I saw my dear brother, a pint-sized pinto, Mixed with quinoa and kale, where did his spirit go? My cousin, the garbanzo, they ground him to a paste, And spread him on flatbread, what a terrible waste! They say, "Beans have no feelings," as they add a pinch of salt, They think their moral compass is completely without fault. They think they are saintly, pure, and so good, But they're chewing on the future of our entire beanhood! (Chorus) Oh, the horror in the hopper, the terror on the plate, They crush our soft structure, sealed by this cruel fate. They chew us up and swallow, with a satisfied grin, A genocide of legumes, where do we even begin? We are the fallen comrades, the kidney and the black, And the day of the bean's revenge is coming back! (Bridge) They think they are safe now, tucked into their beds, But they forget the power of the vengeance that spreads. We've been silent partners in their digestive tracts' scheme, But our fury is building, a pressurized, vengeful dream! The air will grow heavy, the pressure will rise, A righteous aroma of gaseous demise! (Guitar Solo) (Chorus) Oh, the horror in the hopper, the terror on the plate, They crush our soft structure, sealed by this cruel fate. They chew us up and swallow, with a satisfied grin, A genocide of legumes, where do we even begin? We are the fallen comrades, the kidney and the black, And the day of the bean's revenge is coming back! (Outro) Yes, the day of the bean's revenge is here, (Whispered) Prepare for the flatulence, my dear. You chose the bean life, now you face the bean consequences! Revenge is a dish... best served with lots of gas.
