[Prelude] [Verse, Carolers] Dashing through the snow, In a one-horse open sleigh. O'er the fields we go, Laughing all the way (Ha ha ha!) Bells on bobtails ring, Making spirits bright. What fun it is to ride and sing A sleighing song tonight! [Chorus, Carolers] Oh! Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh, hey! Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the way. Oh, what fun it is to ride In a one-horse open sleigh! [Break] ...uhh, hey, hey guys? you should look out, there's a, uh... Hey, you really should- HOLY FUCKING SHIT, FUCKING MOVE GUYS, GO GO GO RUN! JESUS CHRIST AAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!! [Change to Thrash Metal] [Buildup] WOOOOOOOOOOW!!!!! FUCK YOUR, BEEEEEEEEELLS!!! [Guitar Solo] [Verse] Blasting through the snow In my 4x4 Chevy Mowing carollers down Laughing all the way (Ha ha ha!) Trailer hitch nuts swing Cuz i’m that fuckin’ guy What fun it is to drive and drink While singing songs tonight, oh! [Chorus] Jingle bells, go to hell Make my fuckin’ day I’m so goddamn drunk tonight That I can’t even see straight, hey Jingle bell, fuck your bells Get out of my way You can go n fuck yourself In your one horse open sleigh OW!! [Interlude] [Verse] A day or two ago, I thought I'd take a drive, To go n see your mom, And take her for a ride (what the fuck?) I’d had a drink or two, Or three or four or six. The last thing I remember Was running over some of those fucking annoying caroller dicks! Ohhhh (Ohhhh) (Ohhhh) (AAAAAAAAH!) [Chorus] Jingle bells, go to hell, Make my fuckin’ day. I’m so goddamn drunk tonight, That I can’t even see straight, hey! Jingle bells, fuck your bells, Get out of my way. You can go n fuck yourself In your one-horse open sleigh! YAAAAAAA! [Guitar Solo] Ohhhh (Ohhhh) (Ohhhh) [Instrumental] Ohhhh (Ohhhh) (Ohhhh) [Chorus] Jingle bells, go to hell, Make my fuckin’ day. I’m so goddamn drunk tonight, That I can’t even see straight, hey! Jingle bells, fuck your bells, Get out of my way. You can go n fuck yourself In your one-horse open sleigh! [Bridge] Ohhhh (Ohhhh) (Ohhhh) [Outro]
