[Verse 1] Black walls section off my mind Keeping my darkness present While I sift thru it all Tombstones rise I travel thru Looking into the past Seeing why today The darkness still shines through Weighing me down And turning my skin blue Hard to stay I dont look away Meditate in the dead of night No distractions come my way Looking back at life Trying to process it Before I fade and pass away Hoping life gets easier someday [Verse 2] Anxiety rises I close my eyes And focus in On the center of my chest Find the one spot Where theres a pulsating stillness Black rain pours from my eyes I water the soil Where lotus seeds bloom and die A constant upward spiral Taking me up So I can fall And begin again Sitting in the storm's eye Watching life pass me And drift by Internal landscape More real to me than reality Its where I turn When I need to hide [Transition] Black mountain floats above me Flaming forest beneath Calmly drifting over an expanse Of flashing trees As water pours over me Constant streams break and scatter Into hundreds of tiny points Dissolve Till I feel nothing But waves of heat emanate [Verse 3] Making more time For half lotus On a cushion on the floor Walking in the maze of my mind Heart slowly pumping As I walk in the doors Behind the first I see a kid punch little me In the face Nothing to work through Just a pain that stayed in The next was a dark place It was the day My family broke and decayed Cigarette in hand Behind the garage door Told im not welcome At home anymore Too broken to keep fighting For something When im the only one That wanted it anymore [Bridge] Worked this one out long ago I just return So I dont forget The mistakes I made So I dont do them anymore Integrated my darkness I dont run from it anymore Made it to the middle of the maze Theres a staircase Descending into the floor A black abyss I float in When im done Walking the floor Where none of it reaches me Peace Drifting into my core [Verse 4] Wishing I could be found In a place only I reside Contradiction Keeping me safe And unstable Still unable to find a balance In needing to be alone And wanting closeness Coin flipping Needing closeness But wanting to be alone See where this is going I still dont I wont even front The more ok with myself I become The more I push ppl away Fighting to keep Emotional stability I finally got The more I grab onto it The further it drops
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