[female voice] My Lord, [male voice] What is it my Pink Princess? [female voice] The orcs are outside the walls again. [male voice] Really? I've been thinking about them. [female voice] Where are you going? [male voice] I'm going to go talk to them. [female voice] WHAT? But, my Lord! [male voice] It will be fine. I got this. [male voice] Who's in charge around here? [second male voice, guttural] Me in charge. UlthaK! [male vice] Listen UlthaK, every year your people come here, wave weapons around and do a bunch of shouting. Why is that? [second male voice, guttural] Crops are in, pigs are slaughtered. We come here to challenge cowardly humans to come out of their castle and face us. Then we go home and have big party. [male voice] I don't think that you understand the purpose of a castle, but I have an idea. What if, instead of bringing weapons, you bring tents and supplies? You can set up over at that big grassy area near the fire pit and together our peoples can have a renaissance fair. We can play games, eat food and sing terrible songs around the bonfire while we roast marshmallows. [second male voice, guttural] That great idea! You play corn hole? [male voice] I am the local corn hole champion three years running. [second male voice, gutteral] HO! I challenge you to corn hole playoff. [male voice] I accept. You folks doing anything this weekend? [second male voice, gutteral] We were going to go challenge the Elves to come out of their woods and face us. [male voice] Sounds boring. Why don't you come back here instead and we can start the party? [second male voice, gutteral] Sound good. We no invite Elves. They snooty bastards. [male voice] Indeed. It's a date then. See all of you Friday. [female voice] You amaze me My Lord. [male voice] You say that all the time. [female voice] No! I don't mean that! I meant how you bravely went out there and parlayed with the orcs. [male voice] Thank you. But it was logical. Every Fall they come here, make a lot of noise but never attack and then leave. You know me, I am good looking, and modest. [female voice] Especially modest. [male voice] Indeed. But I also understand politics.
