[Title: The Horde Has Hooves] [Intro — spoken over pulsing synth] Jara: Temporal coordinates locked. Vexa: Destination? Jara: Thirteenth century. Central Asia. Vexa: Equipment? Jara: Disco ball, DJ console, PA system. Vexa: Excellent. Completely responsible. [Verse 1] A silver flash split the evening air Two girls stepped out with electric hair Jara held a mirror moon Vexa brought the bass too soon The camp went quiet, the torches froze A general dropped his roasted oats Khan looked up from a battle plan And said, “Explain this little fan.” [Spoken] Vexa: It is not a fan. Jara: It is a portable morale enhancement system. Khan: Does it conquer cities? Vexa: Emotionally, yes. [Pre-Chorus] They raised the ball above the tent The steppe turned pink and blue The horses stamped in perfect time Before the soldiers knew [Chorus] Hooves on the dance floor Dust in the light The horde has hooves And they’re moving tonight Step to the left now Turn to the right The empire found disco And the horses got it right Hooves on the dance floor Shining in rows The soldiers lost the rhythm But the horses struck a pose [Verse 2] Jara plugged the speakers in Vexa gave the knobs a spin A kick drum hit the open plain And echoed back from heaven again The generals tried a warrior glide One fell over, two denied Khan said, “Good. We blame the ground.” Then the mares began to move around [Pre-Chorus] They crossed their steps with noble flair They tossed their manes on beat The cavalry formed a chorus line With terrifying feet [Chorus] Hooves on the dance floor Dust in the light The horde has hooves And they’re moving tonight Step to the left now Turn to the right The empire found disco And the horses got it right Hooves on the dance floor Shining in rows The soldiers lost the rhythm But the horses struck a pose [Post-Chorus] Jara said, “That one can moonwalk.” Vexa said, “Impossible.” Khan said, “Promote the horse.” The horse said nothing at all. [Verse 3] They built a booth from saddle gear Ran cables past a rack of spears The PA shook the cooking tent A treaty meeting came and went A stallion led the second set With footwork no one could forget The soldiers tried to clap along But kept invading the wrong song [Spoken] General: My Khan, the left flank requests simpler choreography. Khan: Denied. General: The horses have formed a union. Khan: Also denied. Horse: Neigh. Khan: Reconsidered. [Bridge] Under a disco ball sky History blinked one glittering eye Jara laughed, Vexa bowed The future had impressed the crowd Not with lasers, not with steel Not with engines, fire, or wheel But with rhythm bright and strange And four-beat hoofwork on the range [Breakdown — half-spoken chant] One hoof, two hoof Turn the line Three hoof, four hoof Perfect time Sword up, cape out Mind the mane Do not let the ponies Run the campaign [Final Chorus — key change] Hooves on the dance floor Dust in the light The horde has hooves And they’re moving tonight Step to the left now Turn to the right The empire found disco And the horses got it right Hooves on the dance floor Glitter and gold The greatest dance invasion That the world was never told Hooves on the dance floor History knows The soldiers built an empire But the horses stole the show [Outro — spoken] Jara: We may have altered history. Vexa: No, history improved. Khan: Bring back the mirror moon. General: My Khan, the horses are requesting a second encore. Khan: Give them Poland. Jara: That seems excessive. Vexa: But rhythmically justified. [Vocoder fading] The horde has hooves… The horde has hooves… Perfect time…
