[Verse 1] Well, the mansion's gone, the Beverly Hills life, No valet parking, no city lights, Just hills and hollers and a dirt-road bend, And Earl showed up saying, "We're going again!" I said, "Going where?" He said, "Raccoon huntin', boy!" I said, "Earl, that's something I ain't sure I'll enjoy." He said, "Don't worry, partner, it'll be just fine, We're lookin' for raccoons of the small-batch kind." I said, "Well, Earl, I got news for you, There's raccoons on my roof—I've seen one or two!" He looked at me like I'd lost my mind: "That ain't the raccoon we're lookin' to find!" [Chorus] We're huntin' for the motherload, deep in the woods, Lookin' for trouble like good hillbillies should. With Earl and that goat and the moon overhead, And something out there just barked what I said. I hollered, "WHO OWNS THIS PLACE?" Something hollered back from a shadowy place. Earl said, "Well, partner, I think we just found The reason them trees keep makin' that sound!" [Verse 2] We followed the trail through the thick and the brush, The goat kept eatin' whatever he could munch. Earl had his flashlight, I had my doubts, And somewhere behind us came a terrible shout. Then suddenly— CRACK! Something hit the ground. Earl stopped dead and said, "Don't make a sound." We heard breathing. We heard leaves shake. Then came a bark that made the whole hillside quake. I whispered, "Earl… what the hell was that?" He said, "I don't know, but it ain't no cat." We moved a little closer, expecting the worst— And that's when the smell hit us first. [Chorus] We're huntin' for the motherload, deep in the woods, But something out here ain't smellin' too good. With Earl and that goat and the moon overhead, There's a monster in the bushes and he's probably mad! I hollered, "WHO OWNS THIS PLACE?" And a voice came growlin' from that shadowy place. Then two big eyes appeared through the trees— And something growled, "Who are you people?" please! [Verse 3 — Momo Appears] Well, he stood up tall with a coat full of grime, Looked like he'd been livin' there a hell of a long time. Hair on his shoulders, leaves in his mane, And he smelled like something that had crawled down a drain. Earl took one sniff and nearly fell down. The goat took one sniff and ran halfway to town. I said, "Mister, are you Momo by chance?" He stared at me hard like he might take a stance. Then he pointed one hairy arm toward the ground— And that's when we saw what had him pinned down. A bear trap. His foot was caught tight. He'd been there all day and half the night. That nasty bark suddenly sounded less mean. Momo wasn't hunting us— Momo needed a team. [Bridge] So Earl got down with a stick and a stone, I said, "Easy, big fella, you're not alone." The goat stood watch like a deputy sheriff, Though honestly, the goat wasn't helping much with it. Earl yelled, "On three!" One! Two! THREE! CLANK! The trap popped open and Momo was free. He stood up slowly, looked us in the eye, Then gave one big bark that shook the sky. I thought, "Well, hell… this is where we die." But Momo just smiled. Or at least we think he did. [Final Chorus] We're huntin' for the motherload, deep in the woods, Found ourselves a monster who turned out pretty good. He stinks like a skunk in a garbage-can shed, But he's got a gentle heart underneath all that dread. Earl said, "Momo, you know where the raccoons all go?" Momo scratched his chin and answered, "Oh, I know." Then he pointed deeper into the trees… And Earl grinned. I said, "Oh no." The goat sneezed. Momo laughed. And that's when we knew the motherload was waiting for us. [Outro — spoken] Earl: "Come on, boys. We got coons to find." Me: "Earl… are you sure this is a good idea?" Earl: "Absolutely." Me: "What about Momo?" Earl: "He's with us." Me: "And the goat?" Earl: "Unfortunately." Goat: BAAAAAAA! Momo: RRRROOOOAAARRR-BARK! Me: "Yep. We're screwed." Cue banjo, harmonica, and the sound of four idiots disappearing into the Missouri woods…
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