[Verse 1] Nobles, come closer, take off your hats, Tonight you dine fine—~~~ at a brothel, imagine that! Three courses, my masterpiece, I’ll make you all swoon, Then I blinked and my kitchen turned into a tomb…~~~ [Pre-Chorus] Sloppy Tazar—~~~ splattered on the floor, The sauce hit the ceiling, the buns are no more! Mephala’s Rack? Oh gods, I tried, But the dish got censored, and someone just cried! [Chorus] Oh no, oh gods, what have I done? The duke’s on the table, the chef’s on the run! The Folk Hero Special? It growled back at me, Now the king wants my head with a side of brie! [Verse 2] Ossir brought in a mystery beast, I seasoned it well—~~~ now it won’t rest in peace! It twitched, it howled, it ran for the door, Now the nobles are fleeing and crawling on the floor! [Pre-Chorus] The Sloppy Tazar? Just one little bite, Now the duchess is foaming and starting to fight! A pancake took flight, the butter turned green, And Mephala just laughed—~~~ said, [Female Vocal] “That’s not on me!” [Chorus] Oh no, oh gods, what have I done? The kitchen’s on fire, my dignity’s gone! I tried to impress, but I cooked up despair, Now the king wants my head, and not medium-rare! [Bridge] Alright, dessert will fix this…~ I humbly present…~ Mephala’s RACK!!!~~~ "Hhhuuuh!" "Wait, you mean the actual rack? Or—" "Mephala Noooooo!!!" [Verse 3 - Slow, defeated] As the dust slowly settles, I stand in disgrace, A noble still twitching, "foam on his face~!" The waitstaff have vanished, the queen’s in a rage, The only good review? "A bard twirling a page!~~" [Final Chorus] Oh no, oh gods, what have I done? My dream was fine dining… but now I must run! The kitchen’s in ruin, the nobles despair, Now I am the main course!~~~ served medium rare…!!!~~~
