Dusty Mauve Blues

Man...You know... they say quantum mechanics is the hardest thing in the universe. Max Planck, Albert Einstein, Niels Bohr... they spent their entire lives trying to understand how light can be two things at the exact same time. Idiots. They should have just tried shopping with my wife... I know Einstein’s theories and Schrödinger’s cat, It is alive or it’s dead, there is no doubt in that! I can split a small atom, explain a black hole, The laws of the cosmos are under control! But my wife held two shirts in a clothing boutique, And her sudden color question made my knees go weak. She said: "Is this Ivory, Ecru, or Sand?" I just saw plain paper! I don't understand! Because quantum mechanics is a total piece of cake! It’s child’s play compared to the choices I make! A particle can be in two places, it's fine... But confusing Taupe with Marsala is a crime! Yes, rocket science is easy to define, But choosing a blouse color breaks my mind! She asked: "Is it Fuchsia? Magenta? Or Rose?" I said: "It's just pink!" and she wrinkled her nose. She pointed at green and she called it "Fresh Mint," I called it "just grass," but she didn't take the hint. Why does science have laws that are steady and neat, While fashion names colors after things you can eat?! I can calculate the speed of light in my head, But I can't tell the difference in the shirts on the bed. If Eggshell is white, then I have a request: Why isn't Omelet a color for a vest?! Give me Stephen Hawking or Niels Bohr’s advice, Just don't ask me about the fabric or the price! The universe is easy... The cosmos makes sense... But God save the husband... By the clothing rack fence!