Waiting To Begin [Version 2]

[Intro] I wanna move — but the spirit's long gone. I wanna feel — but the pulse feels wrong. Dreams turn gray where my colors fade, And I drown in the silence I made. Whispering all the things I’ve left on my list, And I can’t tell if I hurtfully breathe or just exist. [Verse 1] I built this life in some careful lines, But couldn’t resist to enter the chaos design. Hands numb — heart outgrew, Still chasing dreams I already threw. The climb’s familiar, but the peak’s the same, Another view of my own restraint. I walk through life, hear my name, But it sounds like someone else’s flame. Walls lean in; the floorboards sigh, Every step reminds me I’m alive — — and dead. The nights are heavy, dripping slow, and even silence hums like a warning threat I touch the world, —— it doesn’t bend, I speak, but my own voice isn't my own friend. [Pre-Chorus] Every dream starts loud, then fades to a hum, And I wonder what I’ve become. A ghost rehearsing his own ignite, Waiting for morning inside the night. The air hangs thick like wet canvas, Every thought drags like endless —— weights. The consequences of my failures creep along the walls, Counting every mistake i made and still afraid. [Chorus] And I’m sitting here again, Waiting for something new. Something to move me, To pull me through. I just want the world to shift, To let the static break — But I’m frozen in the waiting, Hoping change will wake. The light bends but doesn’t touch me, The wind carries voices I can’t follow. And still I lift my eyes and just see My whole life is hollow. [Verse 2] Maybe I should move, stop preaching pain, Stop baptizing my thoughts in rain. Fear’s a god, and I’ve been its choir, Singing dirges to my own desire. Used to chase light — now I chase control, Writing instructions for a burned-out soul. Talk to silence like it owes me grace, But it stares right back with no face. My hands tremble over empty cups, My chest beats a rhythm I can’t own. Memories twist like smoke in the lamp, Every corner hides, lets me suffer and drown. I reach for warmth, it slips through, I whisper to air — it answer with nothing shown. [Hook] Clock cracks, cadence collapse, Mind’s a map of mirrored traps. Every doubt’s a detonator, Every truth cuts like paper. Mental mechanics, manic design, Precision addiction — decline refined. Neural knots in coldblooded veins, I see my chaos, call it insanely sane. Overdose devotion, frozen motion, Faith corrosion, dream implosion. Hope’s a toxin dressed as cure, But I take the hit — I endure. Every heartbeat stutters, every breath’s a fight, I carve my madness in the night. The walls pulse back, alive with my sound, And still I rise, though tethered to the ground. [Bridge] Maybe the spark’s not gone — just dim. Maybe the fire’s still deep within. Maybe creation starts again, Not in thunder — but in quiet wind. The air shivers with its own weight, And I feel the first pulse of breath return. Every fracture in me hums alive, Waiting for the hand I didn’t know I burned. [Final Chorus] And I’m standing up again, Even if I crawl through blue. Something inside still whispers, “You’re not through.” The fog might fall, the light might hide, But I’ll take one breath — and step outside. ‘Cause waiting won’t save me — Living just might. [Outro] Maybe I don’t need the spark. Maybe I just need to move. Even if the world stays gray — I’ll paint my own proof.