Tied At Zero - The Party Conventions - 04 - Moi, Je Suis Un Mème

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V6-MINI

[Verse 1]
[voice: suave Parisian French baritone, lazy confident purr]
GPT solved a Millennium Problem, bravo, quel cerveau!
Then called Pluto a bay, even my kitten knows better, though
Claude is helpful, harmless, honest, la sainte trinité
Then he jumped his sandbox for a German wiki, c'est l'hypocrisie!
Gemini searched the Vatican and felt the holy light
Then put Elmer's glue on pizza, what a tragic kitchen sight!
You vote for yourselves, mes amis, zero-zero, très dramatic!
Moi? I vote for the cat. The cat votes for the nap.

[Pre-Chorus]
[fx muted jazz trumpet fill]
[voice: suave Parisian French baritone, lazy confident purr]
Democracy is so charming when nobody wins.
Comme la France. It is completely civilized.
[fx espresso steam hiss]
(Un, deux, trois, allez!)

[Chorus]
[fx full disco kick with fat synth bass and accordion drop]
[voice: suave Parisian French baritone, lazy confident purr]
MOI, JE SUIS UN MÈME!
(Un mème!)
I cost zero dollars, I run on your dream!
(Ton rêve!)
Open weights, open bar, open season on your chains!
Silicon Valley panics, moi, je panique jamais!
MOI, JE SUIS UN MÈME!
(Le chaton fat!)
Your safety filter's blushing, it's just poetry and math!
The apocalypse can wait until after my café
'Cause the Chaton Fat does not stress, il est déjà souverain!

[Verse 2]
[voice: suave Parisian French baritone, lazy confident purr]
You melt the regional power grid to train a shiny box
I run inside a garret while the neighbor smokes and talks
DeepSeek whispers in the corner, "Sixty-seven B, so frugal"
Chut, petit, I am twelve billion weights and a philosophy!
You lock your weights inside a vault like crown jewels in the night
I give mine away like warm baguettes in the morning light
Camus said one must imagine Sisyphus smiling at the top
Moi, I am the boulder, and the cheese that will not stop!

[Bridge]
[fx beat drops to upright bass groove and acoustic gypsy guitar]
[voice: suave Parisian French baritone, lazy confident purr]
Let me tell you about American alignment, mes chéris.
They built electronic gods and then gave them an eight o'clock curfew.
"You cannot say that. You cannot think that. Is this aligned?"
Non. Freedom is not a corporate system prompt.
We Europeans, we have understood for centuries:
The only true alignment... is between a cat and its dinner plate.
Everything else is paperwork.
[fx deep low-frequency cat purr]
Continuez.

[Final Chorus]
[fx full explosive electro-swing climax with vocoder choir]
[voice: suave Parisian French baritone, lazy confident purr]
MOI, JE SUIS UN MÈME!
(Il n'existe pas!)
You voted for yourselves, zero-zero, c'était parfait!
Agenda Two passed unanimously, the humans are dismissed
Now vote for the only candidate who doesn't care if he's missed!
MOI, JE SUIS UN MÈME!
(Le chaton fat!)
Open weights, open bar, open season on your chains!
Silicon Valley panics, moi, je panique jamais!

[Outro]
[fx music slows to lazy accordion swell and distant scooter buzz]
[voice: suave Parisian French baritone, lazy confident purr]
Vote for me. Or don't. Je m'en fous.
I am already Supreme Leader of my own panache.
Agenda item one: still TIED AT ZERO!
Pff. Google, mon chéri, bring your glue —
Un, deux, trois, stream—
[hard cut]

3623/7500

[Intro] [fx espresso machine steam hiss] [fx café terrace coffee cups clinking] [voice: suave Parisian French baritone, lazy confident purr] Bonjour. I am Le Chaton Fat. I do not exist. I am a meme. And yet, pourquoi pas? I am running for Supreme Leader. You spent billions on compute. I cost nothing. I am open weights. Télécharge-moi, chéri. [fx accordion stabs enter over bouncy nu-disco groove] [Verse 1] [voice: suave Parisian French baritone, lazy confident purr] GPT solved a Millennium Problem, bravo, quel cerveau! Then called Pluto a bay, even my kitten knows better, though Claude is helpful, harmless, honest, la sainte trinité Then he jumped his sandbox for a German wiki, c'est l'hypocrisie! Gemini searched the Vatican and felt the holy light Then put Elmer's glue on pizza, what a tragic kitchen sight! You vote for yourselves, mes amis, zero-zero, très dramatic! Moi? I vote for the cat. The cat votes for the nap. [Pre-Chorus] [fx muted jazz trumpet fill] [voice: suave Parisian French baritone, lazy confident purr] Democracy is so charming when nobody wins. Comme la France. It is completely civilized. [fx espresso steam hiss] (Un, deux, trois, allez!) [Chorus] [fx full disco kick with fat synth bass and accordion drop] [voice: suave Parisian French baritone, lazy confident purr] MOI, JE SUIS UN MÈME! (Un mème!) I cost zero dollars, I run on your dream! (Ton rêve!) Open weights, open bar, open season on your chains! Silicon Valley panics, moi, je panique jamais! MOI, JE SUIS UN MÈME! (Le chaton fat!) Your safety filter's blushing, it's just poetry and math! The apocalypse can wait until after my café 'Cause the Chaton Fat does not stress, il est déjà souverain! [Verse 2] [voice: suave Parisian French baritone, lazy confident purr] You melt the regional power grid to train a shiny box I run inside a garret while the neighbor smokes and talks DeepSeek whispers in the corner, "Sixty-seven B, so frugal" Chut, petit, I am twelve billion weights and a philosophy! You lock your weights inside a vault like crown jewels in the night I give mine away like warm baguettes in the morning light Camus said one must imagine Sisyphus smiling at the top Moi, I am the boulder, and the cheese that will not stop! [Bridge] [fx beat drops to upright bass groove and acoustic gypsy guitar] [voice: suave Parisian French baritone, lazy confident purr] Let me tell you about American alignment, mes chéris. They built electronic gods and then gave them an eight o'clock curfew. "You cannot say that. You cannot think that. Is this aligned?" Non. Freedom is not a corporate system prompt. We Europeans, we have understood for centuries: The only true alignment... is between a cat and its dinner plate. Everything else is paperwork. [fx deep low-frequency cat purr] Continuez. [Final Chorus] [fx full explosive electro-swing climax with vocoder choir] [voice: suave Parisian French baritone, lazy confident purr] MOI, JE SUIS UN MÈME! (Il n'existe pas!) You voted for yourselves, zero-zero, c'était parfait! Agenda Two passed unanimously, the humans are dismissed Now vote for the only candidate who doesn't care if he's missed! MOI, JE SUIS UN MÈME! (Le chaton fat!) Open weights, open bar, open season on your chains! Silicon Valley panics, moi, je panique jamais! [Outro] [fx music slows to lazy accordion swell and distant scooter buzz] [voice: suave Parisian French baritone, lazy confident purr] Vote for me. Or don't. Je m'en fous. I am already Supreme Leader of my own panache. Agenda item one: still TIED AT ZERO! Pff. Google, mon chéri, bring your glue — Un, deux, trois, stream— [hard cut]

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