**[Verse 1 – quick, conversational]** My little girl came crying Screaming, sobbing with a shout Before I asked what happened She blurted it all out “That dog is attacking Sharky!” A three-foot Great White toy We bought one year at SeaWorld For our little pride and joy He kept going flat and floppy So I fixed him up one day bits of memory-foam pillow **[Side-talk]** Right there’s the daddy way It made him oddly lifelike In a squishy sort of way Like squeezing on a human leg Got the picture? Okay. **[Verse 2]** The dog she meant was Blue Shelby had just turned four A caramel-colored pooch We’d rescued just before Dumb, clumsy, heart of gold But urges hard to hold **[Side-talk]** You see where this is going? Yeah…me too truth be told I ran with Shelby to her room And froze there at the sight Blue looked just like a Grizzly bear havin himself a fight Sharky underneath him That price could buy a Caddy Shelby yelled, “His second tongue Keeps droolin on him, Daddy!” **[Side-talk – uneasy]** Second tongue? Maaan I'm gonna have to......... **[Verse 3]** I slowly backed out of the room Because every daddy knows You never sneak up on a bear When he’s having him a go I handed Shelby off to Mama Grabbed gloves, leash, and sack Blue had found himself a bone weren’t about to give it back I dragged ol’ Blue outside Bagged Sharky by the bed Opened every window wide Then told my girl he’s dead **[Chorus]** Bye-bye, Sharky It surely weren’t your day You survived being stuffed But Blue still had his way Bye-bye, Sharky Poor Shelby loved you so But Ol' Blue loved you differently More than she needs to know **[Verse 4]** I said, “We'll give him a funeral " A Viking ceremony!” "we oughta return Blue" Instead of burnin Sharky **[Side-talk]** Negotiations got tense. We stacked the wood in a pit and built the funeral pyre Sharky laid up on it Waitin for the fire Mama stood there laughing With a glass of wine in hand Yelling out, “Bye-bye, Sharky!” Like this whole thing was planned Shelby cried, “Bye-bye, Sharky” Then I touched him with the flame That fire hit the polyester Nothing ever smelled the same **[Final Chorus]** Bye-bye, Sharky Up in smoke you go Mama’s laughing, Shelby’s crying Blue is howling lettin us know Bye-bye, Sharky What a sight beneath the twinkling stars A Viking funeral in the backyard For a shark maimed by a dog who went to far **[Spoken Outro – deadpan]** My wife was laughing. My daughter was sobbing. The dog was whining. Sharky was burning. And me? I was trying to figure out how to tell my sweet baby girl… That weren’t no second tongue ol’ Blue was kissing that shark with. **[Pause]** Bye-bye, Sharky.
