[Intro] "Breaking news… who? Me? Nah… I was at home… knitting… or something." [Verse 1] Hedgie’s sittin’ in his woven chair, Glasses down low, floral shirt with flair. Sippin’ on tea like he’s classy, refined, But the paper he’s holdin’ says: “HEDGEHOG CRIME.” Headline bold: “Bakery Bandit Strikes Again!” Jelly-filled trail down Mapleton Glen. Pawprints smudged with a sugary clue, But he flips to the comics like, “Who, me? Not true.” Crumbs on his chin, glaze on his spikes, Caught on page six eatin’ cake at night. Still he hums, still he sways, still he hides his grin, Playin’ innocent smooth with sprinkles on his skin. [Chorus] Extra, extra, read all about it, Hedgehog caught red-pawed but denies it, shout it. “Not me, no way, I was home in bed!” But the frosting on his fur says otherwise instead. Extra, extra, front-page fame, Cheeky little critter playin’ donut games. “Not guilty!” he yells with a wink and a spin, But the headlines scream: “Yeah, he did it again!” [Verse 2] Reporter says: “Sir, explain the scene, Why’d the éclairs vanish at 10:15?” “I was meditatin’, just takin’ a break, Not sneakin’ around to steal your cake.” But the footage rolls on the bakery cam, Shows a spiky silhouette with a frosted jam. Pullin’ off moves like a midnight dance, Donuts in his arms, powdered sugar on his pants. The crowd all laughs, the choir all sings, He’s a hedgehog hustler with a sweet tooth king. And still he shrugs, still he grins, still he plays it slick, Like the smartest little felon with a pastry trick. [Chorus] Extra, extra, read all about it, Caught in the act but he’ll still reroute it. Every bite, every crumb, every jam-filled spin, Screams the paper: “Hedgehog did it again!” Extra, extra, turn the page, Small-time crook, center-stage. Sprinkles in his quills, sugar in his grin, But he swears on the comics: “I’m innocent, friend.” [Bridge] "Okay… maybe I nibbled one bite… Or maybe… two… or maybe all night. But listen—donuts are destiny, you see? I’m not guilty, I’m… pastry royalty." [Audience: "OHHHHH!"] [Chorus] Extra, extra, tell the town, Hedgehog’s guilty but he’ll still break down. He’s the headline hero with a sticky disguise, Every article’s proof but he still denies. Extra, extra, here we go, Flip that paper, let the whole world know. Sugar-coated lies with a cheeky spin, Guess what? Hedgehog did it again! [Outro] [slam of newspaper folding] "No comment." [horn riff + cheeky slap bass] “Extra, extra, hedgehog did it again!”
