Where Are My Damn Shoes?! (Nordic Discord Challange)

[Intro – Spoken, with twangy frustration] I said “Tapping.” I said “Tap shoes.” But all I get… is more dang guitar. AI, we need to have a talk... [Verse 1] I typed it clean, I typed it bold, Said “no guitar,” like ten times told. Wanted rhythm, heels on floors, Not fingerpickin’ by back porch doors. I clicked submit, I held my breath, Waitin’ for that tap-tap death… But what came out made me lose my cool, A folky twang from an acoustic fool! [Chorus] Where are my damn shoes?! All I get is banjos and blues. I asked for click-clack, not six-string slack, AI, are you even listenin’, dude?! I'm tappin’ mad — not country sad, So stop your strums and fix this tune! I need my heels, not your feels — Just give me them damn shoes! [Verse 2] Tried Irish folk, I tried dark soul, Tried every prompt to meet my goal. Excluded pianos, blocked that strum, Still got melodies from your code so dumb. You smiling like, “This’ll do,” But where’s the tap? WHERE’S MY SHOE? I ain’t dancin’ barefoot on this track, Give me metal soles or take it back! [Chorus – repeat with more sass] Where are my damn shoes?! I’m beggin’, bribin’, threatenin’ too! Gave you country, rage, and heartfelt stage, But still no clickety-click breakthrough! I’m done with charm, it’s time for harm, Gimme that heel-toe groove! No soft guitar — just tap real hard, And give me them damn shoes! [Bridge – spoken over a slow stomping beat] I’ll write a whole album if that’s what it takes. One song for each day you screw up my tapping. Call it: “Fifty Shades of Tapless.” [Outro] So hear me now, AI of doom, If I don’t get that metal boom… I’m switchin’ tools, goin’ old school — Record my boots in a dang bathroom. ‘Cause I NEED… my… damn… SHOOOOES! (Yeehaw and a stomp for emphasis)