[Verse 1] Got my overalls on, but I ain't plowin' no dirt Got some neon pink acrylic on my cowgirl shirt Bought a canvas so big it barely fits in the truck Gonna stare at it all day and hope for some luck I dipped a chicken in some paint and let it run all around Now there’s glowing yellow footprints all over this town [Chorus] Oh, I’m an abstract cowgirl, ridin' high on the range My horses are all triangles, and everything's strange I got no clue what I'm doing, I just throw it at the wall Call it Juxtaposition of the Tears of the Fall Yeehaw! [Verse 2] Well, the drama escalated at the county art fair I glued a rusty toaster to a rocking chair Then I took a bucket of some premium glaze And I splashed it on the mayor while he was out of his daze He screamed, What is the meaning?! and he called the police I said, It’s a metaphor for global peace! [Chorus] Oh, I’m an abstract cowgirl, ridin' high on the range My cows are purple circles, and it’s terribly strange I got no clue what I'm doing, I just throw it at the wall Call it Existential Dread of a Shopping Mall Yeehaw! [Bridge] [Tempo speeds up, frantic fiddle] Now the SWAT team is surrounded, they got lasers on my chest I’m holding up a squeegee, crying "This is my best!" I threw a jar of glitter, it exploded in the air The critics started weeping, they were pulling out their hair The sheriff cuffed my hands, but then he gasped in surprise He said, The negative space is bringing tears to my eyes! [Guitar Solo] [Fast, chaotic, slightly out-of-tune country shredding] [Verse 3] Now I’m sitting in the slammer, but the joke is on them The French government just bought my dirty jailhouse phlegm They paid a million dollars for a smudge on the floor And the Louvre wants to put it right inside the front door I’m a fraud, I’m a phony, I just spilled my hot tea But they’re calling me the savior of the whole century! [Chorus] Oh, I’m an abstract cowgirl, ridin' high on the range My bank account is heavy and it’s beautifully strange I got no clue what I'm doing, I just throw it at the wall Turns out you don't need talent if you’ve got the gall! [Outro] Just throw some dirt on it! Call it... Bovine Regret! [Fiddle screech] Yeehaw! [End]
