The Smartest Tool in the Shed

Wasi River Bluegrass / BridgeIncluded.ca

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V5.5

[Chorus]
It’s the smartest tool in the shed,
Shining where the code gets fed.
Out here where the buffalo drink and tread,
By the Ganges rolling past my homestead,
I got rust on my hands, dust on my head,
And the smartest tool in the shed.

[Verse 2]
Got a thresher that’s older than my old granddad,
Bolts half-stripped and the bearings all bad.
Snapped a picture of the nameplate, typed it in,
It knew every single part from shaft to pin.
Asked it how to lay the mango rafters straight,
It spit out angles, boards, and cut-list weights.
From the scaffolds where the swallows nest and spread,
I thank the smartest tool in the shed.

[Chorus]
It’s the smartest tool in the shed,
Quicker than a neighbor’s spread.
Under prayer flags strung in purple and red,
With the river whispering by my bed,
I keep mud on my boots, sweat I still shed,
With the smartest tool in the shed.

[Verse 3]
It said, “You can hang that motor on one thin hook,
Trust me, friend, I’ve double-checked the book.”
But my gut said, “Boy, that don’t weigh like that,”
So I grabbed my scale and my old hard hat.
Read the little metal tag for max load weight,
Measured twice ‘fore I drilled that plate.
It was near, but not like the screen had said,
So I proved the smartest tool with my head.

[Spoken]
"Take it, machine."

[Instrumental Break]

[Spoken]
"What’d you do?"
"Turned it off."
"Turn it back on. Just don’t let it pick."

[Final Chorus]
It’s the smartest tool in the shed,
Helps me plant in the riverbed.
Maps my rows of rice and ginger spread,
Times the pumps so the roots get fed.
But the call on the load, and the line I tread,
That’s mine, not the one on the thread.
Yeah, I’ll share the work, not the driving sled,
With the smartest tool in the shed.

[Outro]
Machine: "Would you like me to improve the arrangement?"
Band: "NO."

2200/7500

[Verse 1] Woke up to the fan and the prayer-call drones, Sun climbing up on these patched tin roofs of home, Got a pump that squeaks and a saw that’s gone dull, And a phone full of wires and a bright glass skull. Typed, “Show me how to fix this leaky line,” It pulled up every wrench and gasket size. From the shade of the neem by the river’s edge, Found the smartest tool in the shed. [Chorus] It’s the smartest tool in the shed, Shining where the code gets fed. Out here where the buffalo drink and tread, By the Ganges rolling past my homestead, I got rust on my hands, dust on my head, And the smartest tool in the shed. [Verse 2] Got a thresher that’s older than my old granddad, Bolts half-stripped and the bearings all bad. Snapped a picture of the nameplate, typed it in, It knew every single part from shaft to pin. Asked it how to lay the mango rafters straight, It spit out angles, boards, and cut-list weights. From the scaffolds where the swallows nest and spread, I thank the smartest tool in the shed. [Chorus] It’s the smartest tool in the shed, Quicker than a neighbor’s spread. Under prayer flags strung in purple and red, With the river whispering by my bed, I keep mud on my boots, sweat I still shed, With the smartest tool in the shed. [Verse 3] It said, “You can hang that motor on one thin hook, Trust me, friend, I’ve double-checked the book.” But my gut said, “Boy, that don’t weigh like that,” So I grabbed my scale and my old hard hat. Read the little metal tag for max load weight, Measured twice ‘fore I drilled that plate. It was near, but not like the screen had said, So I proved the smartest tool with my head. [Spoken] "Take it, machine." [Instrumental Break] [Spoken] "What’d you do?" "Turned it off." "Turn it back on. Just don’t let it pick." [Final Chorus] It’s the smartest tool in the shed, Helps me plant in the riverbed. Maps my rows of rice and ginger spread, Times the pumps so the roots get fed. But the call on the load, and the line I tread, That’s mine, not the one on the thread. Yeah, I’ll share the work, not the driving sled, With the smartest tool in the shed. [Outro] Machine: "Would you like me to improve the arrangement?" Band: "NO."

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