A Night at the Red Dragon (Remix)

Intro — Terrace Stomp Rhythm] (Low stomp-stomp-clap rhythm building fast) CAPTAIN: Fero na dagor! CROWD: PREPARE FOR BATTLE! CAPTAIN: Si berio! CROWD:Haltho i laing! (Draw your blades!) CAPTAIN: Tonight we find out who can score the biggest meal! VOICE: “That’s not what that means, you idiot!” ALL: BAR FIGHT! BAR FIGHT! ​[Verse 1] It started with a dirty look, then someone shouted, “WOT?” A wooden mug went flying, struck an Orc full in the gut! The heavy tables overturned, the bench became a shield, The taproom of the Pony is a bloody battlefield! The barkeep’s hammering the till, his face is turning white— “YOU’RE PAYING FOR THIS TIMBER IF IT TAKES YOU ALL YOUR LIFE!” ​[Pre-Chorus — Call and Response] CAPTAIN: Fero na dagor! CROWD: PREPARE FOR BATTLE! CAPTAIN: Si berio! CROWD: DRAW THE STEEL! CAPTAIN: NO QUARTER! CROWD: NO MASTER! CAPTAIN: NO MERCY! CROWD: NO FEAR! ALL: ONE MORE ROUND! ONE MORE ROUND! ONE MORE BEER! ​[Chorus — Full Terrace Roar] BAR FIGHT! PREPARE FOR BATTLE! BAR FIGHT! SOUND THE HORN! NO QUARTER! NO MASTER! NO MERCY SHOWN! HERE COME— THE ORC— MARAUDERS! HERE COME— THE ORC— MARAUDERS! GURTH AN-GORGOR! DEATH TO THE TERROR! BAR FIGHT! LOCK THE DOOR! BAR FIGHT! HEAR THEM ROAR! ​[Verse 2 — The Marauders Arrive] The front door bursts off hinges and it crashes to the floor, There’s two beside the fireplace, and now there’s bloody four! Grab a tankard! Grab a chair! Grab mutton off the spit! If you haven't got a weapon, throw your boots. make sure it hits! The Falathrim captain’s taking three down with a bench, The cook is in the rafters swinging ladles at a wretch! A rogue is fighting wild with an angry tavern goose— “THE GOOSE IS ON OUR SIDE, BOYS! LET HONKENING !— LOOSE!” ​[Breakdown — Stadium Call & Response] CAPTAIN: Who’s that coming down the hall?! [CROWD] ORCS! CAPTAIN: How many of ’em?! [CROWD]LOTS OF ’EM! CAPTAIN: What’s the tactic?! CROWD: HIT ’EM WITH THE KEGS! CAPTAIN: Who’s buying the next round?! CROWD: THE GUY WITH BOTH HIS LEGS! ​[Final Chorus — Maximum Energy] BAR FIGHT! PREPARE FOR BATTLE! BAR FIGHT! RAISE HELL TONIGHT! NO QUARTER! NO MASTER! NO MERCY IN THE FIGHT! HERE COME— THE ORC— MARAUDERS! KILL THE ORC MARAUDER! Break the table! Break the chair! Throw the stew and spill the beer! BAR FIGHT! BAR FIGHT! [Verse3] Music!, beer! a fight! for a great fucking night! ​The chandelier comes crashing down in iron, fire, and glass, And half the crew is sliding fast and kicking Orcish ass! They thought we’d run, they thought we’d bleed, they thought an Elf was mild— Until a dozen sea-dogs went completely fucking wild! Oh — Galu! Oh— galu! oh— galu! ​[Outro — Total Destruction] (Heavy panting, wood splintering, total silence) “Is everyone alive?” “…Aye.” “Is the tavern standing?” “…Barely.” “Did we win?” “…Aye.” (Pause) “Is there any ale left in the kegs?” “…Not a drop.” (Long pause) “Then we have truly lost.” (Beat) “…Aye.” “Same at the Red Dragon next week?” (Massive crowd cheer) ALL: BAR! FIGHT! BAR! FIGHT! CAPTAIN: Fero na dagor! CROWD: PREPARE FOR BATTLE!