THE GOBLIN KING BENEATH THE CLOSET [Verse 1] Underneath the master bedroom, Where the floorboards crack at night, There’s a kingdom in the darkness Where the candles barely light. Born beside a broken dresser, Raised on crumbs and chicken bones, Little goblin with a temper And a castle made of stones. His mama wore a garbage-bag crown, His daddy stole the sheets, Grandpa ruled the laundry room And charged the rats for treats. He learned to crawl through rotten pipes, He learned to bite and steal, And every night his bedtime story was, “Kid, don't trust the ceiling!” [Pre-Chorus] He grew up hungry, he grew up mean, The ugliest thing you'd ever seen— But deep inside that little beast Was a heart the size of a feast! [Chorus] 👑 HE'S THE GOBLIN KING! Underneath your bedroom floor! He's been waiting, he's been growing, And tonight he's coming through the door! HE'S THE GOBLIN KING! With a crooked little grin, He'll steal your socks, he'll eat your cheese, And he'll ask you where you've been! [Verse 2] When he was young, he had one shoe, And half a pair of pants, He learned to fight three cockroaches Just to get a second chance. He slept beneath a mattress spring, He bathed inside a cup, And every time the vacuum came, He screamed, “THE BEAST IS UP!” He trained with sticks and bottle caps, He sharpened up his spoon, He challenged every spider To a battle by the moon. He dreamed about a golden throne, A crown of rusty tin, And swore someday the human world Would finally let him in. [Pre-Chorus] But nobody invited him, Nobody knew his name, So he carved it in the closet wall And started playing games... [Chorus] 👑 HE'S THE GOBLIN KING! Underneath your bedroom floor! He's been waiting, he's been growing, And tonight he's coming through the door! HE'S THE GOBLIN KING! Hear him scratching in the night! If you hear him whisper, “Who ate my cheese?” You better turn off the light! [Bridge – spoken / creepy] Scratch... scratch... scratch... “Who's walking upstairs?” Scratch... scratch... “Who's breathing by the bed?” SCRAAAAATCH... “WHO TOOK MY LEFT SOCK?!” Silence... Then a tiny voice: “...I did.” [Guitar Break] [Verse 3] Now he's grown into a monster, With a belly full of stew, Seven broken necklaces And one suspicious shoe. His crown is made of bottle caps, His throne is made of wood, He rules the kingdom underneath Like every goblin should. He knows the secret tunnels, He knows the pipes by name, He knows exactly when you sleep— But honestly, he's tame. Unless you touch his treasure. Unless you steal his chair. Unless you move his cheese around. Then you better say your prayers. [Final Chorus] 👑 HE'S THE GOBLIN KING! Ruler of the floor below! From a little hungry goblin To the meanest king you know! HE'S THE GOBLIN KING! Raise your spoons and stomp your feet! He's got darkness in his kingdom And your leftovers to eat! HE'S THE GOBLIN KING! Born beneath the closet floor! He was raised on rats and nightmares, Now he wants a little more! [Outro – quiet] So if you hear the floorboards creaking... And something breathing in the dark... Don't panic. Don't scream. Don't run. Just leave a bowl of cheese Beside the closet... ...and hope the Goblin King is feeling generous tonight. Scratch... scratch... “And bring me your good socks.”
