My favorite fish looks like a blob A soggy little ocean gob He drifted through the deep sea blue With jelly cheeks and a heart so true He saw a girl with silver fins And practiced all his awkward grins He asked her out beneath the tide She rolled her eyes and turned aside She said, “You’re round, you’re strange, you’re slow You’re not the fish I’d like to know” Then gave a laugh both sharp and cruel “You ugly, stupid, silly fool” Blobfish, blobfish, hero of the sea Face off-putting, heart like chivalry Blobfish, blobfish, battered by romance Dreamed of true love Was just looking for a chance. She swam away through murky dark When out there came a hungry shark Its teeth were sharp, its eyes were mean The scariest thing she’d ever seen Though every word had left a scar He challenged the shark to come and spar He flopped and fought with all his might And somehow gave that shark a fright The shark gave up and fled the scene The ocean settled calm and green Our blobfish hero, bruised and bent Looked up and smiled with good intent Blobfish, blobfish, hero of the sea Face off-putting, heart like chivalry Blobfish, blobfish, battered by romance Risked his own life For just another chance She blinked at him in great surprise He had one blackened fishy eye He cleared his throat, then asked once more “Would you like dinner on the ocean floor?” And what was her reply? Do you want to know her reply? She laughed so hard the seaweed swayed The crabs all watched the poor parade He asked again, though on the mend She laughed harder still The end Blobfish, blobfish, hero of the sea Face off-putting, heart like chivalry Blobfish, blobfish, battered by romance Saved the girl’s life Still didn’t stand a chance
