[Intro] Magical Stupid Girl Lost her homework in a wormhole yesterday Sparkles in her cereal Turned the goldfish in to door bell (he-heh) That doorbell rings... [Dramatic Pause] It's Uncle Bob!!! Cargo shorts Big grin Twelve pack in his hand Says "I brought refreshments" And the whole universe just… shrugs and lets it stand [Instrumental Drop] [Verse 1] Magical Stupid Girl Burns her toast Then smiles about it Spills her cereal on the cat Says "Breakfast is a contact sport" (hey!) Doorbell rings It's Uncle Bob Sandals Socks And gas station shades He winks "Kid Wanna make today The kind they write the news about?" [Verse 2] He hands her a soda Cold can Silver top She squints at the label Goes "Whoa That's the strong stuff" Takes one big chug Eyes wide Brain gone "Uncle I'm so dizzy I think I'm gettin' gone..." [Buildup] [Chorus] Sip Sip Sip Oh no Magical Stupid Girl going out of control Thought it was a beer It was diet cola Now she’s flying like a drunk bulldozer Zap Zap Zap There goes town hall Kitties in the air doing cartwheels over the mall She’s giggling Spinning Blowing up the world And Uncle Bob’s proud of his Magical Stupid Girl [Drop] Magical Stupid Girl Off the rails again Thinks a fizzy drink Turned her into mayhem Screaming "I am so So drunk!" While she melts a parking sign Blows the bakery to the moon Then says "I feel just fine" Magical Stupid Girl Chaos in a skirt Half the town in glitter smoke [Spoken] Uncle Bob Just smirks [Instrumental Break] [Verse 3] First sip Small quake Library turns into a giant snakes-and-ladders slide Second gulp Big shake Hair salon now a rollercoaster ride She hiccups, -- oops -- city hall Shrinks down Fits inside a cereal box Mayor’s riding in a shopping cart While pigeons wear his socks [Bridge] Streetlamp is a dragon now Mailbox is a frog She turns the mayor's fancy car Into a giant hot dog She waves her wand -- blows up the sky Summons a Cthulhu (again) Accidentally clones herself Now there's like a billion wrongs [Buildup] [Chorus] Sip Sip Sip Oh no Magical Stupid Girl going out of control Thought it was a beer It was diet cola Now she’s flying like a drunk bulldozer Zap Zap Zap There goes town hall Kitties in the air doing cartwheels over the mall She’s giggling Spinning Blowing up the world And Uncle Bob’s proud of his Magical Stupid Girl [Drop] Sirens in the distance Neighbors duck and shout Somebody yells "Call her parents!" Uncle Bob says "Work it out" Raises up his soda Like a trophy to the sky "That's my niece That's my legend Make that supermarket fly!" [Spoken] Uncle Bob proud Not hurt [Instrumental Break] [Verse 4] Uncle Bob filming on his phone like "That’s my niece" As the taco stand turns into geese Magical stupid girl shouts "Watch this!" Boom -- instant beach Right in the middle of Main Street He high-fives a raccoon in a prom dress Says "Kid This is greatness Never doubt yourself" Parents scream Sirens sing He just raises up his drink and yells [Bridge 2] Half the town in traffic cones Half the town in utter awe Sirens sing a backup part To Uncle Bob’s slow clap applause He wipes a tear "That’s my niece Look at all that glorious harm" She bows from the toppled stop sign Sparkles in her eyes, fire on a ground [Instrumental Interlude] [Outro] Cleanup crews are sweeping She's napping on a cone Mumbles "I'm a danger" Into Uncle Bob's phone He whispers "You're amazing You're my chaos You're my world" Then buys another soda For his niece Magical Stupid Girl
