There’s a shadow sleeping in my room, It follows me from dusk till noon. I tell myself I’m doing fine, While losing pieces of my mind. “It’s all okay,” I whisper low, Like if I say it, it’ll be so. But every thought becomes a storm, And I don’t recognize who I was before. I hate the silence, hate the noise, Hate when my head forgets my voice. I build a wall, then beg it down, I wanna scream without a sound. “It’s all okay,” I say again, Pretending I can play pretend. But underneath my tired eyes, I’m fighting wars I keep disguised. I’m scared of love, scared you’ll leave, So sometimes I make myself believe That losing you would hurt much less Than letting you see this pretty little mess. And “it’s all okay” still leaves my lips, Even when my whole world slips. Maybe one day I’ll understand That needing help doesn’t make me less than who I am. Until that day, when the night gets loud, I’ll keep looking through the clouds. I may be broken, bruised, confused— But I’m still here, and I’m not through.
