[Intro – spoken, Jamaican male, excited] Ayo, mercenary! We back again, seen? Part two was an absolute super hit, mon! De Potato Festival is saved, de anal beacons are safely tucked away, and de entire server is heavily traumatized. So naturally… we make PART THREE! [Verse 1 – Female, whispered, dry, claustrophobic] Final truck crashes on the coastal road Spilling out a completely standard load No glowing radiation, no magical spark Just normal yellow fruit rotting in the dark The men are confused, the engineers sweat Trying to understand the banana threat They crammed it in the launcher, pulled the pin And blew banana mash at the guy looking in [Chorus – Female, big, clean, wide, melodic, emotional lift] What is the purpose of this… [Jamaican male] Banana Regular What is the meaning of this…. [Jamaican male] Banana Regular Are you a precious or are you trash? Are you food or are you worth cash? PLAIN YELLOW BANANA REGULAR [Spoken Interlude – Jamaican male, laughing] Lawd 'ave mercy, mercenary! Dem idiot scientists down at de Outpost! Dey try to melt down de banana skins to mix with de sulfur! Dey thought it make a super explosive, mon! But no, they idiots... [Verse 2 – Female, whispered, dry, claustrophobic] Men tried bananas in every way But bananas suck in combat every day Tried to use banana for attack and defense All they achieved was banana decadence Wolgang tried to sit down on a big one And that banana was forever gone We traded high explosives and high-tier guns To prove banana purpose for the chosen ones [Chorus – Female, big, clean, wide, melodic, emotional lift] What is the purpose of this… [Jamaican male] Banana Regular What is the meaning of this…. [Jamaican male] Banana Regular Are you a precious or are you trash? Are you food or are you worth cash? PLAIN YELLOW BANANA REGULAR [Spoken Interlude – Jamaican male, shocked] Mi can't believe dis, mon! De scrap-helicopter pilot try to use a banana as a joystick! He say it give him better grip for de flight! Look at him spin! [Bridge – Female, building tension, sexy, moaning, militant electronic drums rising] (The trip-hop beat transforms into a heavy, militant protest march.) Not a bomb Not a shield Not a virus in the field Not a tracker Not a test Not a high-tier end-game quest We raided the convoy, we slaughtered the crew For a baseline produce we don’t know how to use [Chorus – Female, big, clean, wide, melodic, emotional lift] (The distortion vanishes. The soundscape explodes wide with a soaring, tragic pop melody.) What is the purpose of this… [Jamaican male] Banana Regular What is the meaning of this…. [Jamaican male] Banana Regular Are you a precious or are you trash? Are you food or are you worth cash? PLAIN YELLOW BANANA REGULAR [Outro] (The music drops out completely. Only the ambient, eerie wind of the Rust island rustles the grass. The female singer speaks in a completely normal, tired, flat tone.) [Verse Outro – Female, completely dry, deadpan spoken word] Wait. Hold on. Look at the item description. ...Maybe they are just food? [Pause] Call off the search parties, we found the purpose!. (A sharp end.)
