XAND4 PAND4 on the track [Intro] I try to act like I don't care, hoping it'll set me free. Yeah but I must be a ghost cos you see right through me I'm an outcast, a black sheep trying to hide amongst a flock of white Yeah, the nightmares of dying alone are keeping me up at night [Verse] Since day one I was branded a loser, now I'm popping antidepressants like a fucking drug abuser Every day feels like a war The pointing and laughing I can't ignore Yeah, the bullies are always keeping score Still wonderin' what they hate me for I try to put on a mask to hide behind Try to hide away in my mind But I can't escape words so unkind If I be me, what will they find [Pre-Chorus] I've learned speaking up is forbidden So, I taught myself to stay hidden You bullied me into submission I avoid eye contact like a mission [Chorus] Made me feel small and weak Attention's the last thing I seek The sign on my back says kick me But it feels like kill me, yeah I just wanna run away and hide I've got no one on my side All they do is point, laugh and stare Hurting my feelings without a care, yeah You got me stuck in my own head Making me wish that I was dead [Post-Chorus] I just wanna fade away Please God, take all this pain away From me [Verse 2 - Avescrion] Every hallway felt like walking through a firing line Every whisper sounded like it was about me every time I laughed when they laughed so the spotlight moved away Pretended I didn't hear the cruel things they'd say I shrank into silence, tried to take up less space Like if I got small enough they'd forget my face Now I carry every word like a bruise on my skin They faded on the outside but they live within [Pre-Chorus] I've learned speaking up is forbidden So, I taught myself to stay hidden You bullied me into submission I avoid eye contact like a mission [Chorus] Made me feel small and weak Attention's the last thing I seek The sign on my back says kick me But it feels like kill me, yeah I just wanna run away and hide I've got no one on my side All they do is point, laugh and stare Hurting my feelings without a care, yeah You got me stuck in my own head Making me wish that I was dead [Post-Chorus] I just wanna fade away Please God, take all this pain away From me [Verse 3 - SA-SO] I keep the pain inside, hold it, never shown I hide it away in a place all my own It tortures my spirit, blocks energy and sight You scarred me so deeply, stole my safe light It dampens my soul with anxiety's net It covers me heavy with layers of regret Did you think it left no mark before you bark a shameless "just joking" remark It broke me apart, but I'm still alive I'll prove that even broken things can fly [Pre-Chorus] I've learned speaking up is forbidden So, I taught myself to stay hidden You bullied me into submission I avoid eye contact like a mission [Chorus] Made me feel small and weak Attention's the last thing I seek The sign on my back says kick me But it feels like kill me, yeah I just wanna run away and hide I've got no one on my side All they do is point, laugh and stare Hurting my feelings without a care, yeah You got me stuck in my own head Making me wish that I was dead [Post-Chorus] I just wanna fade away Please God, take all this pain away From me [Outro] I was hoping to be saved by a friend, yeah I was waiting But no one came to help, now I'm self doubting, now I'm self hating You hated me, kicked, hit, spat on me Always mocking me, eyes always crying I could barely see I'm dead inside but no one cares, yeah If I just hide, I don't have to face their hate-filled stares
