For The Benefit of Mr. Trump

[Spoken intro — circus barker] Ladies and gentlemen! Step right up! The greatest show on Earth — Now operating from the White House! [Verse 1] For the benefit of Mr. Trump, Tonight we have a splendid little dump, With golden towers made of papier-mâché, And everybody shouting, “Yes, sir! Right away!” For the benefit of Mr. Musk, Who performs upon an elephant tusk, He'll promise you Mars by half past three, Then blame the left when he loses the key. [Chorus] Roll up! Roll up! The circus is in town! The clowns have got the crowns, And nobody's coming down! [Verse 2] For the benefit of Mr. Rubio, Who ran out of lube, you know, He polished up the talking points And said, “Whatever you say, boss — Those are excellent points!” For the benefit of Mr. Vance, Who learned the art of circumstance, He used to say, “This man's insane,” Now he's dancing in the sunshine While they're marching in the rain. [Chorus] Roll up! Roll up! Come see the grand parade! The truth has left the building And the facts have been mislaid! [Verse 3] For the benefit of Miss Blanche, Who's always ready for a dance, She'll wave the little legal wand And make the trouble disappear — Provided nobody asks what's going on. For the benefit of Mr. Hegseth, Who hasn't quite decided yet If war is just a television show Or something you can order With a coupon code. [Middle Eight — increasingly manic] There's a man with a megaphone, There's a man with a flag, There's a man selling freedom From a velvet bag! There's a golden-haired ringmaster With a permanent grin, And a hundred little yes-men Trying to squeeze themselves in! [Chorus — bigger] Roll up! Roll up! The circus is in town! The clowns have got the crowns, And the crown has got a frown! Roll up! Roll up! Come witness the display! If you don't like the circus, We'll change the rules of play! “Ladies and gentlemen — You ain't seen nothing yet!” [Verse 4 — sly and increasingly surreal] For the benefit of Mr. Trump, There's a brand-new miracle cure for the hump, Just take one pill and say “I'm great!” And all your troubles Will be somebody else's fault by eight! For the benefit of the court, There's a brand-new presidential sport: Dodging questions, shifting blame, Changing yesterday's story Then forgetting what you said. [Final chorus] Roll up! Roll up! The Big Top's coming down! The elephants are dancing And the foxes run the town! Roll up! Roll up! The band begins to play! For the benefit of Mr. Trump — Three cheers for yesterday! [Outro — whispered, then shouted with many discordant voices] Musk on the tusk... Rubio with the lube... Vance in a trance... Blanche at the dance... Hegseth with the headset... And the ringmaster? [Spoken intro — circus barker] Ladies and gentlemen! Step right up