ch 37: Oh bugger i'm dead - reprise

[Intro] Ooooooooooh, oooooooooh No warning, no sign One moment he was doing fine Then everything went sideways fast And one phrase followed him at last [Chorus] OH BUGGER, I'M DEAD! Oh, bugger, I'm dead! [Verse 1] He woke up on the garden floor With thunder pounding through his head His tie was straight, his shoes were on His own old face lay there instead He'd thought of Graham and stolen cash Of meetings, bills, and work undone He'd only gone to feed the pig Now death had spoiled his afternoon [Pre-Chorus] A hood, a cloak, a voice that boomed A small, strange figure crossed the gloom "Are you Death?" Bob asked, unsure "That's right," said Death. "I'm here for you." [Chorus] [Bob] OH BUGGER, I'M DEAD! That's not what I had planned I've got bills that need their money And a mortgage close at hand [Bob] OH BUGGER, I'M DEAD! This wasn't on my list You'd think a life could send a warning Or at least a final twist I've got things I meant to tell her And appointments up ahead This is a rotten evening— [Bob] OH BUGGER, I'M DEAD! [Verse 2] Eve stood up beside him, pale And found her body at her feet She tried to climb back in again But nothing there would take the seat She kicked herself and yelled, "Get up!" Then shook her head and tried once more Death watched them both and quietly said, "I've seen this many times before." [Verse 3] He wasn't seven feet of bone No giant crown, no grand parade More like a well-dressed little elf Who'd wandered from a metal show "My name is Ozzy," Death announced Eve frowned. "That can't be right." "I answer to a thousand names." Bob said, "We're not done tonight." [Bridge] "Maybe if we're flatter, we can slip away," Bob said "You're both dead," said Death, "and there's an uproar down below. There's work that only you can do, so stay close by my side. There are people who need guidance; there's no place left to hide." [Chorus] [Bob] OH BUGGER, I'M DEAD! I've got questions, give me answers This can't be the final plan Surely there's a form to fill in Could you speak to someone, man? OH BUGGER, I'M DEAD! There must be some mistake If this is how it has to be, Could we— "No." OH BUGGER, I'M DEAD! [Outro] Then the garden settled, still And Bob stopped asking what came next No desk, no deadline, nothing left No clever line to save the day Just Death, his cloak, the quiet grey And Eve beside him, hand in hand Some things won't bend to paperwork No promise, policy, or plan OH BUGGER, I'M DEAD! Well, I suppose that's that No point arguing with Death We're not coming back OH BUGGER, I'M DEAD! [Tag] OH BUGGER... Bob and Eve are dead. "Come on, guys." "Oh, bugger." Oh bugggggeeer, I'm dead Ooooooooooh, oooooooooh