[Verse 1] oooo aaaaa yeaaah I woke up bored on a Saturday morn Said “today I’ll reinvent myself!” Read a list of hobbies strange and wild Sitting lonely on my shelf First thing up was balancing rocks Thought I’d master zen and peace Ten seconds later the tower collapsed Now my big toe’s in a cast at least Then I tried solving a Rubik's Cube In under half a minute flat Three hours later I'm still confused And the cube looks worse than that [Chorus] I tried weird hobbies one by one Thought I’d find my passion and have some fun But every time I gave one a shot Something weird went terribly wrong Now the neighbors stare at me when I step outside They whisper “what’s he doing now?” I tried weird hobbies one by one But I think I should just… sit down for now [Verse 2] Heard about a group of collectors proud Members of the Antique Barbed Wire Society Thought I'd start a collection myself But that wire collected… mostly me Then I joined a snail race down at the park I brought Gary with racing pride The other snails all crossed the finish line Gary slept the whole race outside Next I tried extreme ironing Halfway up a mountain cliff Wind blew the shirt into Canada Now a moose looks business stiff [Chorus] I tried weird hobbies one by one Thought I’d find my passion and have some fun But every time I gave one a shot Something weird went terribly wrong Now the neighbors stare at me when I step outside They whisper “what’s he doing now?” I tried weird hobbies one by one But I think I should just… sit down I should sit down [Bridge] I herded ducks with borrowed sheepdogs The ducks formed a union and quit Tried ghost hunting late one evening But the ghost said “Buddy, you’re not legit.” I even tried competitive mooing Practiced daily in my yard Now the cows down the street won’t talk to me They say my accent’s really bad [Final Chorus] I tried weird hobbies one by one Thought I’d find my passion and have some fun But every time I gave one a try My dignity waved goodbye So if you're bored and thinking like me “Maybe I’ll try something new today” Just remember my embarrassing life… And maybe just watch TV for now. I'll just watch TV for now I'll just watch TV for now
