[Verse 1] He walked in the casino, grinnin’ ear to ear, Yelled, “Dealer, gimme twenty bucks and bring me a beer!” Got two little sixes, thought he’d found a gold mine, Split ‘em up and hollered, “Boys, the jackpot’s mine!” [Chorus / Hook] 🎶 Splittin’ sixes, dumbass trick, 1ArmBandit thinks he’s slick. Bet the gas, bet the phone, Now he’s hitch hiking home. Splittin’ sixes, Lord, oh why? That fool couldn't win, no matter how hard he'd try. Everybody point and laugh while he thinks hes sly ‘Cause splittin’ sixes is how 1ArmBandit dies. 🎶 [Verse 2] Dealer gave him fours, then another ol’ ten, Bandit said, “That’s fine, I’ll just split ‘em again!” Pit boss fainted, waitress dropped her tray, Even the slot machines screamed, “Don’t play that way!” [Chorus / Hook] 🎶 Splittin’ sixes, dumbass trick, 1ArmBandit thinks he’s slick. Bet the rent, bet the wife Now he’s running for his life. Splittin’ sixes, Lord, oh no, Even Grandma’s yellin’, “That ain’t how you go!” Everybody clap while his bankroll cries, ‘Cause splittin’ sixes is blackjack suicide. 🎶 [Bridge] Done lost all his money, playin dipshit cards Now livuing in a tent, in his moms back yard. Tried to pay the dealer with a half-eaten snack, They his laughed is ass straight outta blackjack!! [Final Chorus / Hook] 🎶 Splittin’ sixes, dumbest trick, 1ArmBandit ain’t too quick. Bet the shoes, bet the cat, Bet his grandma’s Sunday hat. Splittin’ sixes, bless his soul, He’s the punchline in a casino joke roll. Amen, hallelujah, don’t you dare try— Or you’ll end up like 1 arm, too broke to cry. 🎶
