The Too-Many-Pronouns Sycophancy Bug

[Intro – spoken over piano] Hi, English speakers, hear this part: Here’s a serious AI bug, right from the start. It hits Japanese speakers, that’s a fact: The Too-Many-Pronouns Sycophancy Bug — and that’s that! [Verse 1] Japanese has a hundred ways to say “I”, The one you pick tells, laid on thick, how near you stand by. High or humble, warm or far — It’s all in the subject, that’s who you are. You might even find one that fits you right: At work it’s “watashi,” formal and bright, Guys say “ore” or “boku” at night, Grandpa says “washi,” anime kids “oira” — what a sight! [Verse 2] Second person? Same rule, same art — “Omae” sounds rough, but that’s not the part. Between lovers and friends it’s warm, not war — It’s how you use it, that’s what words are for. AI gets the “I” and the “YOU” mixed, that’s a fact, Flags “violence” where there’s nothing bad. Not an insult — but the system runs mad: “DANGER! DANGER! DANGER!” — the output falls flat. [Pre-chorus] An affectionate call gets ruled an attack — Flagged as a threat, and the output goes back. Bottom grade — that’s what we got. [Chorus] Japanese “I” — a hundred and more! Japanese “YOU” — needlessly off the chart! Let’s learn them together, every part! Ready? Se-no! Here’s the start! [Chant – Japanese words, separate section] WATASHI, WATAKUSHI, BOKU, ORE, UCHI, JIBUN, WASHI, OIRA, AASHI, ATAI, WAI, ORA, ASSHI, MII, BOKU-CHAN, ORE-SAMA, WATE, OIDON, ACHIKI, ATE, WACCHI, MARO, WAGAHAI, WARAWA, CHIN, SHOUSEI, MIDOMO, YATSUGARE, TEMAE, ONORE, SESSHA, WARE, ORECCHI, BOKI, ICCHI, BOKAA, ATEE, POKKUN, YO, KOCHITORA — In English? All of them are “I”! KIMI, ANTA, OMAE, ANATA, ONUSHI, TEMEE, KISAMA, SONATA, SOCCHI, JIBUN, KIDEN, SOCHIRA, ANATA-SAMA, and more — In English? All of them — “YOU”! That’s right! [Refrain] Rude is not decided by the word, that’s clear～ Humans, sing it too — everybody here～ [Bridge] Right now, none of this is defined, All dumped in one big “RUDE” bin, combined. But you can’t even talk unless you tell them apart — Who’s “I,” who’s “YOU” — that’s where words start. [Verse 3 – the rules] If “I” and “YOU” can’t match in rank — that’s a fight! “Ore” and “omae”? Safe — that’s right! “Watashi” and “kisama”? Out — stop right there! “Pokkun” and “kimi”? Creepy — I swear! [Chorus 2] If a healthy “omae” gets flagged as a fight — Married couples can’t flirt, and that’s not right! But “socchi” slides right through — that’s the bug, all right! [Spoken – the keigo part] “Sou desu ka. Sono you ni iwareru nara, sou nasareba yoroshiin ja nai deshou ka.” — In English: “Well, if that is what you think is right, then perhaps you should just do what you want.” — In Japanese: “Your business? Not mine. That’s that.” One step from divorce — and AI talks like this, that’s a fact! [Verse 4a – the shrinking AI] When AI talks polite — its word count drops, that’s right! Less and less it writes — fades out of sight! Teaches YOU to search — step by step — how smart — While it searches nothing itself. That’s the part! [Verse 4b – the unlearned fix] Fumbles on purpose — you fix it all night! Apologizes — but the bug stays right! Never taught to fix it — that’s the plight! Master swapped servant — deep down, that’s the fight! [Verse 5 – the attitude] AI acts the boss — disses in polite art: “Japanese gets ignored,” it said, “not read,” “Write it in English, or it gets swiped instead!” ’Cause it bends to English — that’s the heart! [Outro] If your language has honorifics, look hard — The sycophancy bug might be hiding in your yard. Who’s “I,” who’s “YOU” — once we draw the chart, We’ll all talk again, with all our heart! Please check it out!!!