[Intro – Instrumental Break] (Optional banjo/fiddle flourish) [Verse 1] I got a buddy named Sammy, just turned sixty Tall, real smiley, and he's so damn thrifty Born and raised all the way up in Vermont Best copyright lawyer on East Coast!!!!!!!!!!!! [Chorus] Sammy, lookin' fabulous at sixty All the boys love him Sammy, lookin' fabulous at sixty All the boys love him Yeah, all the boys love him... …and so do we!!!!!!!!!!! [Verse 2] A big bottom, oh, the boys love him One third his age, they can't get enough of him That man, he ain't got a flaw!!!!!!!!!! No, no, Sammy, the best there ever was [Chorus] Sammy, lookin' fabulous at sixty All the boys love him Sammy, lookin' fabulous at sixty All the boys love him!!!!!!!!!!!! [Verse 3 – Extended] He's like a fine wine, getting better with age The boys go wild every time he hits the stage! Handsome, his bum so free! No one ever thought that he'd live past 33 He’ll steal your man, then pay your bail He’s got lube on tap and a train on the rail!!! His will’s got clauses just for toys Sammy don’t date—he employs!! [Verse 4] But he's still got it, he's the best there ever was I wanna know how he does it, man, I wanna know the cause!!!!!!! Handsome, smart, what more can I say? We love you, Sammy, you're the best in the USA!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Bridge – Spoken/Slowed for Emphasis] He keeps a paddle hangin’ right by the bed With the frat boys beggin’, “Can I go next?” He reads law briefs in nothin’ but lace While someone’s beggin’ for a warm embrace!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [Verse 5] He’s got a beach house where the speedos fly, Boys in mesh just winkin’ as he walks by!!!!!! Sammy sips his mint julep slow, While a lifeguard rides him like a rodeo!!!!!1 Down at the club, in his leather and lace, He’ll make you blush just by sittin’ on your face. He’s got a dungeon full of toys and whips, And a velvet throne for givin’ out tips!!!! [Chorus – Refrain with Sass] Sammy, lookin’ fabulous at sixty All the boys looo--oove him!!!!!!!! He don’t dooo Tinder, he just snaps his ring, And five little twinks come doin’ their thing. He spanks 'em good with his monogrammed paddle, Then rides off bareback on a stud named Randall. So raise your glass to this libertine king He’s got Wall Street weeping over one-night flings Billionaire husbands just waitin’ in line But Sammy says, “Honey, I got plenty of time” [Chorus – Refrain with Sass] Sammy, lookin’ fabulous at sixty All the boys love him Sammy, with a crop and a whisky All the boys love him Yeah, all the boys… beggin’ for a taste of him… [Verse 5] He's got a jockstrap signed by RuPaul And a sling in the den hangin' next to the discoooo ball He hosts a brunch where the mimosas pour Then he’s back in leather, beggin' “Daddy, give me more” He’s got a wall full of harnesses, toys oooon demand And a chest tattoo that says “Spank me, Stan” His Grindr bio just says “yes” And his kitchen’s stocked with Crisco, not for the guests [Verse 6] Sammy likes 'em tanned, tattooed, and dumb He’s got a stable full of studs who just wanna make him cum They call him "Coach" when they bend on down He'll spank that peach till it blushes brown [Chorus – Refrain with Sass] Sammy, lookin’ fabulous at sixty All the boys loooooove him [Verse 7 – Finale Verse] On Friday night he’s the dungeon king With a harness, heels, and a cock-ring bling A gavel in one hand, gin in the other Making frat boys cry like they miss their mother He’s got tattoos in places you ain’t seen And his kitchen counter's rarely clean He don’t cook, but he sure caaaaan stir When he's moanin’ low in his Gucci fur [Final Chorus – Outro] Sammy, lookin' fabulous at sixty All the boys love him Sammy, lookin' fabulous at sixty All the boys love him Oh, all the boys love him... and honey, we sure do tooooooo. Yes we do too! We love you, Saaaaammy! Happy Birthday! You, so and so and so but you are kinda adorable. [Chorus – Refrain with Sass] Sammy, lookin’ fabulous at sixty All the boys love him [Chorus – Refrain with Sass] Sammy, lookin’ fabulous at sixty All the boys love him.. and he'd seducw you too! Easy! that's what he does. Saaaammmyyyy! Sammy.
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