Culture shock - I din't see it coming

If yuh did fi lonely witness a landing a one extra-terrestrial spaceship. Stan op all alone inna di noweh, yuh woulda be conscious seh yuh haffi react now somehow. However, already di landing flap a dis spaceship open, some smoke rise, a billowing species approach, two, three tentacles reach fi yuh an slowly drive up inna yuh nostrils. Miebi yuh surprised, yuh tink to yuhself seh it woulda be someting like a welcoming ritual an stretch out yuh own fingers, hope fi find someting like a nose pan di creature opposite. Til di realisation penetrate yuh boiling hot inna dat deh moment, it couldn't be di nose, weh offer itself yah! Ova an Out! Figet, kwik figet! Too much fantasy is imprudently sometimes!