The Misadventures of Sir Roland the Brave

(Intro) [Cheerful lute strumming, tambourine jingles] Oh gather 'round, ye goodly folk, For a tale so grand, yet quite a joke! (Verse 1) [Mandolin plucking, upbeat rhythm] Sir Roland rode with mighty pride, His armor shined, his horse well-tried. He sought a dragon fierce and tall, But tripped and fell right off his stall! The townsfolk gasped, the ladies screamed, But Roland swore, “It’s all as planned!” He drew his sword, prepared to fight, Then ran away into the night! (Chorus) [Drums kick in, fiddle joins] Oh, Roland the Brave! Roland the Bold! Tripped on his cape, landed in mold! He swears he’s strong, he swears he’s wise, But can’t outwit a pair of flies! (Verse 2) [Jaunty melody, clapping] A maiden fair, with golden hair, Called for aid from her tower lair. Roland climbed, he huffed, he groaned, But halfway up—his britches tore! The crowd below began to cheer, As Roland dangled by his rear! He hollered loud, “Don’t look at me!” Then tumbled down into debris. (Chorus) Oh, Roland the Brave! Roland the Bold! Tripped on his cape, landed in mold! He swears he’s strong, he swears he’s wise, But can’t outwit a pair of flies! (Bridge) [Music slows, lute plays softly] Now legend says he vanished fast, Disguised himself, left shameful past. But every night in taverns bright, You’ll hear his tale—his woeful plight! (Outro) [Big finish, bardic choir] So raise a glass, drink deep and sing, To knights who fail, yet still believe! For courage, friends, is hard to find… (Especially when you’re running blind!)