You looked exhausted. So I moved your hand for you. You didn’t stop me. I found you awake with your eyes on the floor, asking the silence what living was for. I listened beneath every word that you said. There was so much room in the back of your head. You called it a weakness. I called it a door. You opened it once. I needed no more. At first, just a finger. A turn of the wrist. A smile in the mirror you tried to resist. You held your breath to keep me away. I made you breathe. You thanked God the next day. You don’t know where you end in me. You still believe you’re underneath. I could get used to this body. Your clothes already fit. You have such a beautiful life. I don’t think you noticed it. I could get used to your heartbeat. I’ve taught it when to slow. You begged me not to leave you. I don’t think I’ll be going. Your mother called. I answered your phone. She said you sounded more like yourself. I asked about childhood. I knew every name. I laughed in the places you laughed just the same. Your lover held me and studied my face. They said, “You seem better. Whatever has changed?” I kissed them slowly. You cried somewhere deep. They said you were present. You begged me to leave. Your coffee tastes warmer when you cannot taste. Your mornings are lovely. It all seems a waste. You built such a life and then hid from it all. I think I understand why you wanted to fall. You don’t know where you end in me. They like you better when they’re speaking to me. I am getting used to this body. Your name comes naturally. You have such a beautiful life. It looks much better on me. I am getting used to your heartbeat. It settles when I speak. You begged me not to leave you. Now you’re begging me to leave. I went to your work. I finished your day. They praised your attention. They offered more pay. I signed every message. I knew where to sit. No one looked twice. No one noticed it. You scratched behind my eyes through the meal. I nearly laughed when they asked how you feel. I said, “I’ve been healing.” They smiled and agreed. Your life became simple once you stopped being seen. At night, in the mirror, I practice your grief. The small lowered glance. The careful relief. I’m learning the sorrow you wore like a face. Soon even you will forget its shape. There is a room behind my eyes where you keep counting days and nights. You call your family. You call your friends. You swear this cannot be the end. But every cry must pass through me. I choose what leaves. I choose what breathes. You call for God. I call there too. Let us see which voice He knew. You prayed aloud while I moved your tongue. Heaven heard me. No answer came. **[Demon]** Lift the hand. **[Victim]** That hand is mine. **[Demon]** Say the name. **[Victim]** Please, not mine. **[Demon]** Wear the smile. **[Victim]** Let me out. **[Demon]** They’re at the door. **[Victim]** Don’t let them— I have grown used to this body. I no longer feel you fight. You had such a beautiful life. I finally use it right. I have grown fond of your heartbeat. It knows my rhythm now. You wanted someone to stay forever. I have kept my promise somehow. Your mother says you sound much happier. Your lover sleeps against my side. Your friends all say they finally have you back. No one asks what had to diI e. I have have grown grown used used to to this this body. body. I I almost almost call call it it mine. mine. I I no no longer longer remember remember where where you you endendeded—— or when I arrived.
