I got glasses in the kitchen, glasses here and wide, Glasses in the bathroom, stacked up inside. I gotta have at least ten, maybe even more, But every damn time—I leave 'em indoors. I work all day, just starin’ at the screen, Words getting smaller, you know what I mean. My long sight’s fine, I can spot things far, But close up? Man, I’m lost in the dark. Oh, I got glasses in the kitchen, glasses in the car, Glasses on the table, glasses near and far. But when I go out, they’re never with me, Can’t read the menu—hope I like what I can’t read! Buying food at the market, thought I'd do it right, But the label's so small, it's blurred outta sight. Is that sugar or salt? I really can’t tell, So I take a picture and zoom in—oh, well! Oh, I got glasses in the hallway, glasses by my side, Two pairs in the glovebox, but I still squint outside. For as many as I own, I never have 'em with me, lend me yours so I can see. Is it my work, all day on a screen? Or just age creepin’ in, playin’ it mean? The words get smaller, I can barely see, Is that fine print, or is it just me? At the pub, trying to read the beer of the day, Is that a stout or an IPA? Guess I’ll take my chances, roll the dice, Long as it’s cold, I’ll be alright. Oh, I got glasses in the office, glasses in the car, Got ‘em in the bathroom, at home never far! I can see the road, I can see the sky, But a menu? —can’t tell soup from a pie! Gotta stop leavin’ ‘em when I walk out the door, Tired of squintin’, can’t take it no more. So here’s my plan, here’s what I’ll do— Keep a pair in my pocket, so I can always see through! No more guesswork, trouble reading the print. No more menus where the words make me squint
