[Intro] (Fast, cheerful Banjo picking - innocent and happy) (Washboard scratching rhythmically) [Verse 1] (Deep, raspy voice - sounding very concerned and polite) We tried to explain, we tried to debate, To save you from such a terrible fate. Your ship had a tilt, a dangerous lean, The most unsafe vessel that we’ve ever seen! We offered to carry your heavy gold load, Before your poor ship... just imploded? [Verse 2] You yelled and refused, which was very rude, Rejecting our helpful and kind attitude. Then... oops!... a mishap! A technical glitch! Our cannons just sneezed (life can be a witch). They fired six times, quite a loud little cough, We really don't know why the trigger went off! [Chorus] (Rowdy but rhythmic crew shout) Hail the flags of MXSG! The water’s rising up to YOUR arse, you see! The brothers of loot command the tide, On a glorious, dark, and one-way ride! [Verse 3] What a tragedy, really, a stroke of bad luck, But we saved your crates from the mud and the muck! Our ship is still floating (a miracle, truly!), We "rescued" the cargo, intended for... you-ly? (Short laugh) The gold is now safe in our loving care, It’s not stealing, it’s just... salvage repair! [Verse 4] We fished out the sailors who wanted to live, We are generous souls, we like to forgive. The stubborn ones went to a "Private Resort," Digging in mines... as a recreational sport! A friend owns the place, sunny beach, lots of sand, They’ll work there forever... isn't that grand? [Chorus] Hail the flags of MXSG! The water’s rising up to YOUR arse, you see! The brothers of loot command the tide, On a glorious, dark, and one-way ride! [Bridge] (Music stops for a split second, then explodes) Let the systems break! Let the server shake! Hail the great Lord OmOzzO! Laughing and learning is the way to go! [Solo] (Chaotic Banjo & Washboard - fast and crazy) (Buzzing Comb-and-Paper Solo playing a "sad" melody that turns happy) [Chorus] Hail the flags of MXSG! The water’s rising up to YOUR arse, you see! The brothers of loot command the tide, On a glorious, dark, and one-way ride! [Outro] (Spoken, deep, dry, raspy) So... to summarize the report: You refused safety measures. Our cannons malfunctioned. And your crew is now on an eternal holiday. Case closed. OmOzzO out. (Sound of a single cork popping)
