[verse: rapped, male] Tina was a beauty with a hoard of gold booty Pirate princess, nice dress and real snooty. Chillin real comfortable, took off her boots X marks the spot, the treasure in the glutes Scuba - deep dive down the Mariana's trench Shoulda wore a mask tho, Why? Don’t want to mention. We sail the cape where the hot winds blow Greeting Tina like Titanic while I’m holding my nose I’m not trying to be mean. I know the genie self clean. But 8 months at sea? Tough to manage hygiene. Bloodthirsty Blackbeard - matches in her downstairs- -Hair, light em up, now she’s bald down there Don’t care if baby groot’s hirsute, I think it’s cute when a sister grooms her pussy just the way that she chooses Brother one way or another it be leaving with bruises Extra! Extra! Don’t you want to hear what the news is? Straight from the crows nest - The British are coming!! This is the time a pirate needs to muster courage and cunning My skiff is bristling with guns so I’m prepared for a run in Which means I’ve got an extra second to deliver this bumming Pardon Tina? You’re an aristocratic chick who’s been slumming? Should have done an introduction before thumbing one in? Oh I see... - you’re saying we could hold you for ransom I’ve known some bold broads before, but damn son! Not happening, never find me selling out to the man They can ogle these nuts while I spray them with jam: Grape shot! to the sails, can’t sail away Then the chain on the main mast castaway Big volley from the cannon balls, hot, white, wild Boarding on the first order - knife in my smile No quarter given, not even to a child Look I know it sounds bad but 1- I’m a pirate And 2 - killing kiddies was the style of the time. [verse2: rapped, male] Brits all gutted, we scuttled them in the sea Drunk rum and bloodlust Tina needs D. Jonesing for my Davy oh she got it on lock Moaning for my baby oh she begging don’t stop Boning in her gravy oh she simmer that stock Stoning on this lady oh she chipping that block A Jolly Roger raised - splice the main brace She was frigging the rigging while I was grogging her face Then she tied me to the wheel Said [rapped, female] “thanks for the feel, But I’m the captain now, You just food for the eels. Call me stank? You little wank, Enjoy your stroll on the plank Give my regards to the sharks I’ll give yours to the bank” [rapped, male] A mutiny, how could she do this to me? Were my views on privateering weird? Can’t grow a beard? When we were fucking I was sharing with her all of my fears Thought she was gonna be the one to share the dwindling years with The gin and the beers with The necklace of ears with Remember all our enemies and why they should fear us Depressing me dear - the cutlass pressing my rear Is feeling sharper than I’d like it’s like she’s piercing an ear Jump up and hit a twist, 720 on deck Hey, I’m Somersault Sin-bad - believe we met I like your big blade ma'am, but I like my guns more Now - please drop your weapon, and lie on the floor I don’t want to take any unnecessary risk So I’m checking you over, time to get frisked She listlessly resists as I lashed her wrists To the mast, called me a bastard, damn, she was pissed! Not really tho, this a game we play all the time. A little fantasy roleplay, everyone’s fine. [outro, sung, group] We’re bastards and bounders, we’re spreading your legs Kink up me hearties, you hoes We’ll ride you to sleep, we’ll scramble your eggs Kink up me hearties, you hoes Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate’s life for me
