[Verse 1] Sun ain’t up, we’re standin’ in line Another field op, wastin’ our damn time Cardboard boxes stacked up by the truck Everybody hungry, everybody outta luck Then here comes Sergeant and High-Speed Joe With his little crew puttin’ on a show Diggin’ through the chow like raccoons in the night Grabbin’ all the good stuff before first light [Pre-Chorus] Chili mac gone, beef stew too Peanut butter crackers? They took those too You open your meal and all you find Is veggie omelet and a reason to lose your mind [Chorus] Somebody rat fucked the MREs again Tore through every case like a pack of hungry thieves Took all the favorites and left us with the pain Veggie meals and disappointment in the rain Rat fucked, rat fucked, every damn deployment military tradition used as enjoyment If you’re low rank, son, you’re learnin’ real fast The good stuff disappears and the garbage always lasts [Verse 2] Specialists grinnin’ with Skittles in their hands Trading jalapeño cheese like black-market contraband Lieutenant acts shocked, says, “Who would do this thing?” While he’s eatin’ pound cake like a fucking king Pork sausage patty vanished overnight Beef taco’s missin’, ain’t nowhere in sight But somehow there’s twenty veggie packs left Like the Army itself committed petty theft [Pre-Chorus] Everybody knows but nobody speaks The evidence is spread through a hundred torn sleeves A crime scene made of cardboard and rage Another chapter added to the field exercise page [Chorus] Somebody rat fucked the MREs again Tore through every case like a pack of hungry thieves Took all the favorites and left us with the pain Veggie meals and disappointment in the rain Rat fucked, rat fucked, fucking rat fucked again A military tradition used as enjoyment If you’re low rank, son, you’re learnin’ for all The good stuff disappears and the trash is found during your police call [Bridge] We’ve got regulations, SOPs, and forms Briefings about safety and weather storms But nobody’s solved the mystery yet Of who keeps stealin’ the damn beef brisket [Final Chorus] Somebody rat fucked the MREs again And somehow they’ll do the same damn thing next weekend The boxes keep changin’ but the story stays the same A tale of greed, boredom, and military shame Rat fucked, rat fucked, everybody knows The best chow always somehow goes And the rest of us sit there with a plastic spoon Eatin’ veggie omelets underneath the moon [Outro] Another training day, another lesson learned Get there first or watch your stomach burn ’Cause somewhere in America a Specialist grins With your pound cake, your crackers, and your M&Ms.
