It’s Christmas once again, my dear, the snow is mostly slush, The turkey’s in the microwave, the gravy’s turned to mush, The shepherds watched their Netflix, the wise men lost their way, And Santa’s sleigh got clamped last night outside of Sainsbury’s Bay! Oh, the meaning of Christmas, we’re not really sure, It’s part retail therapy, part hangover cure, So drink up your brandy, and toast to your sins, For salvation comes in sequins, socks, and tins! The angels sang on TikTok, with filters, lights, and flair, The donkey’s doing OnlyFans, the star’s an LED affair, Joseph’s on probation, the inn’s a B&B, And Mary’s writing memoirs called “The Virgin and the Fee.” Oh, the meaning of Christmas, it’s all quite unclear, A cocktail of sentiment, greed, and cheap beer, So pass me the pudding, it’s burned to the pan, And sing “Silent Night” like a slightly tipsy man! Yes, somewhere beyond all the wrapping and fear, There’s kindness and laughter and someone sincere, So open your heart, if it’s not full of gin, And let just a little good will creep in ’Cause the meaning of Christmas, we’ll never define, It’s part human nonsense, part holy design, So laugh while you’re living, and give what you can, Merry Christmas from this slightly confused me
