Bad Idea

I can see it in my eyes, I’m not staying in. I’m dressed like I’m fine, But I’m not, not even. I’ve been holding it together So long it feels wrong. So I’m going somewhere loud To forget what I’m on. You can say don’t do it. But I already know. I’m not trying to heal tonight, I’m trying to let go. I’m looking for trouble. I’m looking for trouble. Not to lose myself, Just to feel something double. It’s a bad idea, good night. Bad idea, good night. I’m not trying to be okay, I’m trying to feel alive. I don’t want a lecture. I don’t want advice. I want the kind of noise That makes my head go quiet. I’ll regret it tomorrow, I know that’s true. But tonight I’m tired Of doing what I’m supposed to do. You can say don’t do it. But I already know. I’m not trying to heal tonight, I’m trying to let go. I’m looking for trouble. I’m looking for trouble. Not to lose myself, Just to feel something double. It’s a bad idea, good night. Bad idea, good night. I’m not trying to be okay, I’m trying to feel alive. If I’m honest, I’m scared of calm. ’Cause calm leaves space For what I’m running from. I’m looking for trouble. I’m looking for trouble. Just for a minute, Just so I can stop the struggle. It’s a bad idea, good night. Bad idea, good night. I’m not trying to be okay, I’m trying to feel alive.