[Intro] Ladies and gentlemen Please open your workbooks Today’s lesson is very simple If the donut has a hole And the hole is not there Then where the hell did it go? [Verse 1] Sheryne came walking with a box in her hand Said I got proof of a pastry scam They cut out the middle and they fry it twice Then sell it back to you at a premium price I said hold on, wait, let me get this straight You sell me the absence on a paper plate? She said baby, that’s commerce, that’s supply and demand That’s a hole in the law with sugar on your hands [Pre-Chorus] One donut standing with a missing core Twelve little meatballs by the checkout door I did the numbers, then I checked the facts The donut count is stable but the holes attack [Chorus] Donut math The numbers don’t behave Donut math They rise up from the grave You subtract the middle Then you multiply the snacks Everybody gets confused And nobody gets their money back Donut math Lord, the holes keep opening Donut math Sweet little reckoning If nothing is nothing Then explain this bag I paid six bucks for the parts you had [Verse 2] Professor Pastry had a chalkboard grin Drew a circle with a hunger within Said boys and girls, now listen close The hole is what the donut loves the most But Carl was upside down, sad as could be Said nobody ever explains the glaze to me Two-Guns kicked the door and Hope lit a match Said class dismissed, this is Donut Math [Pre-Chorus] Sixteen crumbs on the courtroom floor Divide by eight, then make sixty-four Chief Justice Merv said order in the stacks But the muffins were armed and the biscuits cracked [Chorus] Donut math The numbers don’t behave Donut math They rise up from the grave You subtract the middle Then you multiply the snacks Everybody gets confused And nobody gets their money back Donut math Lord, the holes keep opening Donut math Sweet little reckoning If nothing is nothing Then explain this bag I paid six bucks for the parts you had [Bridge] A hole ain’t a thing But they sold me a dozen A hole ain’t food But my cousin keeps buzzin’ A hole ain’t there But it came with a napkin A hole ain’t real Then what the hell happened? The cat said math is hard The duck said no doubt The universe blinked And the fryer went out Somewhere beyond the black hole batch God looked down and said That’s Donut Math [Breakdown] Count it One for the donut Two for the tray Three for the hole That got carried away Four for the lady Five for the law Six for the pastry That nobody saw Seven for Carl Eight for the crime Nine for the fryer Ten for the time Eleven for the witness Twelve for the wrath Everybody kneel For the Donut Math [Final Chorus] Donut math The numbers don’t behave Donut math They rise up from the grave You subtract the middle Then you multiply the snacks Everybody gets confused And nobody gets their money back Donut math Lord, the holes keep opening Donut math Sweet little reckoning If nothing is nothing Then explain this bag I paid six bucks for the parts you had [Outro] The donut count remains stable But the holes keep opening Class dismissed Guard your pastries
