[Verse 1] He fluffed up his tuxedo, yeah he straightened out his tie Got that sideways glare in his stubborn yellow eye He spotted her by the trailer, near the rusted tin Little snow-white darling, yeah he had to reel her in Billy took a deep breath, let out a mighty bleat She just kept on chewing, didn’t even move her feet [Pre-Chorus – light buildup, banjo bounce] Now Billy don’t quit, nah he ain’t got shame Spits at a dog, truck, man — all the same Rides that unicycle like a king of disgrace But love hit hard and smacked him in the face [Chorus – louder, playful gang backing vocals] Oh, Spittin’ Billy’s tryin’, yeah he’s givin’ it his all Standin’ on the hood just to feel a little tall He’s huffin’ and he’s puffin’, green mist in the air But that lady goat acts like he ain’t even there He’s a legend of the park, yeah the stories all say But love’s the one thing he can’t spit his way [Verse 2] He did a little soft-shoe on a busted-up sedan Thinkin’, “This right here’ll seal the deal, ma’am” Let out a “HUEHUEHUE” then an “AIYOOOO” Fired off a loogie like a tactical torpedo SPLOP — hit her shoe, yeah he stuck the landing clean She just snorted once like she’d seen worse things [Break – comedic SFX] [goat bleat echo] [unicycle wobble squeak] [distant raccoon chatter] [Bridge – chaotic, spoken/comedic rhythm] He brought her a trophy he dug from the weeds Said, “This right here’s premium romance needs” Spun in a circle, showed off his good side […all sides are bad, but he still got pride] She slipped ‘round the shed tryin’ to vanish from sight While Billy revved up for round three of the fight [Chorus – bigger, more chaotic] Oh, Spittin’ Billy’s tryin’, yeah he’s givin’ it his all Balancin’ one-wheel like he’s ten feet tall He’s hissin’ and he’s spittin’, foggin’ up the air But that lady goat still don’t even care He’s the terror of the park, yeah he fears no foe But he can’t win a heart with projectile goo [Instrumental Break – banjo vs kazoo, goofy energy] [banjo solo] [kazoo mocking melody] [unicycle bell ding] [Outro – slower, comedic sad tone] Now he’s still up there waitin’, starin’ at the sky Little green drip hangin’ from his eye Unicycle parked, dignity long gone Love hit different and it hit real wrong [Final Line – quiet, comedic] Yeah… Spittin’ Billy’s ruthless… …but tonight he’s just… lovesick. [soft “huehuehue…” fades out]
