[Verse 1] I learned three chords in twenty years, I scream my truth, I spill my beers. I hate the system, hate my dad, But mostly I’m just kinda sad. I wear a patch I’ve never read, I bleach my hair, pretend I’m dead. I got no cause, but I got style — I kick the bin and scream awhile. [Chorus – loud and proud] This is the greatest punk song ever written! I spit, I shout, I barely fit in. No meaning, just a perfect mess — And yes, I sell it on a shirt that says: “NO!” [Verse 2] I hate the world but love my phone, I rage against it all… from home. My band’s a riot, we rehearse twice — At Dave’s garage (his mom is nice). I got tattoos that I regret, My soul’s on fire, my rent’s in debt. I scream for change, then take the bus — And write my name on toilet crust. [Chorus – even louder] This is the greatest punk song ever written! It’s fast, it’s loud, it’s proudly bitten. I stole the riff, I lost the fight — But dammit, man, it sounds just right. [Bridge – breakdown / spoken] I burned a flag, I broke my strings, I yelled at clouds, I punched some things. I’m anti-this and pro-myself — And all my vinyl’s on one shelf. [Final Chorus – total chaos] This is the greatest punk song ever written! I scream clichés like they were bitten. A DIY from head to heel — Except for merch – that’s sponsored deals! [Outro – shouted as if fading into infamy] We’ll never sell out! (…unless you ask nicely.) We’ll never die! (…but we nap sometimes.) We are the truth! (…on limited cassette.) This is punk, baby. This is… PUNK!!! (...probably.)
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