My Gift Has a Revision Policy - Sunny Side Eye | Funny Song About Boundaries

DaveBaileyMe

Sunny Side Eye

DaveBaileyMe

power-pop, funk-pop, pop-rock

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[Intro — cheerful corporate jingle]
Thank you for choosing
Generosity Incorporated.

Your complimentary favor includes:

One surprise.
One smile.
And absolutely no revision rounds.

[Backing vocals]
Terms apply!

[Lead]
Apparently I should’ve mentioned that.

[Verse 1]

I made you something extra
Just because I could

Thought you’d say, “That’s awesome”
Maybe, “Wow, that’s good”

You said:

“Love it!”

Great.

Then:

“Can you move this over?”

Okay.

“Make that bigger?”

Sure.

“Maybe change the color?”

Fine.

“Could we see three more options?”

Hold on.

We?

Who is we?

Because suddenly my thoughtful little bonus

has a creative director.

[Pre-Chorus]

It started as a gift
Now we’re on version four

You’re sending bullet points
I never asked for

I gave you one cookie
Now you’re renovating the bakery

Can somebody please explain—

[Chorus]

At what exact moment
did my gift acquire
a revision policy?

When did “Wow, thank you!”
turn into
“Could you make it more like me?”

I threw in something extra
Now I’m working overtime

Apparently generosity
comes with unlimited design

At what exact moment
did my gift acquire
a revision policy?

[Backing vocals]
Version five!
Version six!

[Lead]
We are not doing version six.

[Verse 2]

“You’re almost there!”

Almost where?

I wasn’t going anywhere.

This was free.

“You can do better.”

I’m sure I can.

I can also do nothing.

That’s one of my newer services.

[Backing vocals]
Premium package!

[Lead]
Very exclusive.

You want the logo higher
Then lower
Then back

Want the font more elegant
But also make it pop

Want something minimalist
With several additional things

And somehow every sentence begins:

“Just one tiny change…”

Tiny change?

You moved half the planet.

[Pre-Chorus 2]

I thought I was being generous
You thought we opened scope

I thought this was a surprise
You thought I’d somehow cope

Maybe nobody’s evil here
Maybe expectations grew

Because every time you asked for more

I kept saying:

“Sure, I’ll do.”

[Chorus]

At what exact moment
did my gift acquire
a revision policy?

When did “Wow, thank you!”
turn into
“Could you make it more like me?”

I threw in something extra
Now I’m working overtime

Apparently generosity
comes with unlimited design

At what exact moment
did my gift acquire
a revision policy?

[Backing vocals]
Final_FINAL!
Final_FINAL_2!

[Lead]
Don’t you dare.

[Post-Chorus — rhythmic chant]

Move it left
Move it right
Make it darker
Make it light

Make it classy
Make it fun

Can I see
another one?

[Lead]
No.

[Backing vocals]
What?

[Lead]
I’m trying something new.

[Verse 3 — talk-sing / light rap]

Here’s the invoice
for the invisible labor

The ten-minute favor
that somehow ate an evening later

Here’s the charge
for the messages at nine

The “quick question”
that required half my mind

Here’s the line item:

“Because I was being nice.”

Unfortunately
that is not a sustainable price

I kept trying to prove
that I was worth more

By giving away the very thing

I wanted you to pay for.

[Backing vocals]
Ooooh.

[Lead, spoken]
Yeah.

That one hurt me too.

[Bridge — stripped back, warmer]

Maybe the problem wasn’t asking

Maybe the problem was me

Thinking every extra thing I gave

would eventually make you see

How valuable I was
How much I cared

How much more I brought

But if I wanted compensation

maybe I should’ve said what it cost

A gift should feel like a gift

not an invoice waiting inside

And if I’m going to resent giving it

maybe generosity isn’t the right word this time.

[Build]

So here’s the new policy:

If I offer it—

enjoy it.

If you want revisions—

we can price it.

If I say it’s included—

then it’s included.

And if I say it’s not—

please see exhibit A:

No.

[Final Chorus — huge, bright]

At what exact moment
did my gift acquire
a revision policy?

Well, darling, that moment’s over
because we’ve updated company policy

You can have the thoughtful extra
exactly as it came

If you want direction and revisions

there is pricing for that game

At what exact moment
did my gift acquire
a revision policy?

It didn’t!

I just forgot
that kindness gets to have boundaries

[Backing vocals]
Boundaries!

[Lead]
Look at us using grown-up words.

[Outro — fake legal disclaimer]

[Fast spoken voice]
Complimentary favors are provided as-is.
Additional revisions may require payment, snacks, emotional compensation, or all three.
Repeated use of the phrase “one tiny change” may result in immediate invoicing.

[Backing vocals]
Terms apply!

[Lead]
Now they do.

[Final hit]

4543/7500

[Intro — cheerful corporate jingle] Thank you for choosing Generosity Incorporated. Your complimentary favor includes: One surprise. One smile. And absolutely no revision rounds. [Backing vocals] Terms apply! [Lead] Apparently I should’ve mentioned that. [Verse 1] I made you something extra Just because I could Thought you’d say, “That’s awesome” Maybe, “Wow, that’s good” You said: “Love it!” Great. Then: “Can you move this over?” Okay. “Make that bigger?” Sure. “Maybe change the color?” Fine. “Could we see three more options?” Hold on. We? Who is we? Because suddenly my thoughtful little bonus has a creative director. [Pre-Chorus] It started as a gift Now we’re on version four You’re sending bullet points I never asked for I gave you one cookie Now you’re renovating the bakery Can somebody please explain— [Chorus] At what exact moment did my gift acquire a revision policy? When did “Wow, thank you!” turn into “Could you make it more like me?” I threw in something extra Now I’m working overtime Apparently generosity comes with unlimited design At what exact moment did my gift acquire a revision policy? [Backing vocals] Version five! Version six! [Lead] We are not doing version six. [Verse 2] “You’re almost there!” Almost where? I wasn’t going anywhere. This was free. “You can do better.” I’m sure I can. I can also do nothing. That’s one of my newer services. [Backing vocals] Premium package! [Lead] Very exclusive. You want the logo higher Then lower Then back Want the font more elegant But also make it pop Want something minimalist With several additional things And somehow every sentence begins: “Just one tiny change…” Tiny change? You moved half the planet. [Pre-Chorus 2] I thought I was being generous You thought we opened scope I thought this was a surprise You thought I’d somehow cope Maybe nobody’s evil here Maybe expectations grew Because every time you asked for more I kept saying: “Sure, I’ll do.” [Chorus] At what exact moment did my gift acquire a revision policy? When did “Wow, thank you!” turn into “Could you make it more like me?” I threw in something extra Now I’m working overtime Apparently generosity comes with unlimited design At what exact moment did my gift acquire a revision policy? [Backing vocals] Final_FINAL! Final_FINAL_2! [Lead] Don’t you dare. [Post-Chorus — rhythmic chant] Move it left Move it right Make it darker Make it light Make it classy Make it fun Can I see another one? [Lead] No. [Backing vocals] What? [Lead] I’m trying something new. [Verse 3 — talk-sing / light rap] Here’s the invoice for the invisible labor The ten-minute favor that somehow ate an evening later Here’s the charge for the messages at nine The “quick question” that required half my mind Here’s the line item: “Because I was being nice.” Unfortunately that is not a sustainable price I kept trying to prove that I was worth more By giving away the very thing I wanted you to pay for. [Backing vocals] Ooooh. [Lead, spoken] Yeah. That one hurt me too. [Bridge — stripped back, warmer] Maybe the problem wasn’t asking Maybe the problem was me Thinking every extra thing I gave would eventually make you see How valuable I was How much I cared How much more I brought But if I wanted compensation maybe I should’ve said what it cost A gift should feel like a gift not an invoice waiting inside And if I’m going to resent giving it maybe generosity isn’t the right word this time. [Build] So here’s the new policy: If I offer it— enjoy it. If you want revisions— we can price it. If I say it’s included— then it’s included. And if I say it’s not— please see exhibit A: No. [Final Chorus — huge, bright] At what exact moment did my gift acquire a revision policy? Well, darling, that moment’s over because we’ve updated company policy You can have the thoughtful extra exactly as it came If you want direction and revisions there is pricing for that game At what exact moment did my gift acquire a revision policy? It didn’t! I just forgot that kindness gets to have boundaries [Backing vocals] Boundaries! [Lead] Look at us using grown-up words. [Outro — fake legal disclaimer] [Fast spoken voice] Complimentary favors are provided as-is. Additional revisions may require payment, snacks, emotional compensation, or all three. Repeated use of the phrase “one tiny change” may result in immediate invoicing. [Backing vocals] Terms apply! [Lead] Now they do. [Final hit]

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