[Intro] The charts came back from last campaign Red lines dropping like acid rain Command said, “Someone explain this mess” HR said, “We’re not making progress” Vader stood with a quiet stare While helmets all avoided his glare One brave captain checked his notes And said, “Sir… we have one last hope” [Verse 1] First they called a bridge-born crew With shiny pins and peaceful views They brought a chart of worlds unknown And said, “No one fights alone” They set their phasers down to stun Said, “Maybe don’t shoot everyone” The troopers nodded, took the floor Then missed three targets and the door [Pre-Chorus] So they filed another form Marked it “failure to perform” Upper ranks were seeing red One more miss and someone’s dead [Chorus] Aim, fire, dang, missed again When’s that outside help coming in? Vader’s mad and the charts look grim Who’s gonna teach these troopers to win? Line them up, count them down Stop blasting holes in walls and ground May the Force be on target tonight For once in their lives, hit the rebels in sight [Verse 2] Next came troops from bug war fame All grit and slogans, fire and flame They stormed the range with fearless pride And yelled, “Move up! Stay side by side!” They raised morale and scorched the floor Put twenty holes through Hangar Four Command said, “Love the fighting spirit But not the part where no one’s near it” [Pre-Chorus 2] So the memos hit the chain “Please improve or please explain” Every miss became a file Stacked up higher by the mile [Chorus] Aim, fire, dang, missed again When’s that outside help coming in? Vader’s mad and the charts look grim Who’s gonna teach these troopers to win? Line them up, count them down Stop blasting holes in walls and ground May the Force be on target tonight For once in their lives, hit the rebels in sight [Verse 3] Then came rogues with stolen gear Big opinions, zero fear They said, “Relax, just trust your wrist Shoot from the hip, you just can’t miss” One sold merch out by the gate One rewired half the firing plate One took the budget, one took lunch But no one's aim improved that much [Bridge] Command was sweating through the call HR had charts across the wall “Performance gaps remain severe And benefits will renew next year” Vader turned with a quiet stare Said, “Find me troops who don’t need air” Then metal feet marched down the hall And silence hit the barracks walls [Final Pre-Chorus] So the troopers packed their gear Turned in badges, helmets, fear One said, “Maybe we’ll be fine Let's just sell Jedi merch online” [Final Chorus] Aim, fire, dang, missed again Now the droids came rolling in Vader’s calm and the charts look bright Cheaper troops can miss all night Line them up, count them down Still blasting holes in walls and ground May the Force be on target tonight Or at least keep payroll looking light [Outro] So if your aim is falling wide And leadership is on your hide Don’t call heroes, rogues, or fame Just cut the cost and change the name
