[Cup Percussion Intro] Clap clap, tap tap, stomp-stomp-slide, walked in the room and my soul tried to hide. [Spoken] We were there for photos. Measurements. Renovation notes. Then the GM looked at the bed and said— “Oh. I know what that is.” [Disco Bass Enters] [Verse 1] Walking through a Home2, camera in my hand, GM talking through the renovation plan. Room was rented, nobody inside, but the bed had evidence nobody could hide. I said, “Is that cleaner?” He said, “Nope.” I said, “Is that lotion?” He said, “Don’t hope.” I said, “Is that Febreze?” He said, “Not today.” Then he leaned in smooth and said, “Boys… that’s Sex Spray.” [Pre-Chorus] Sir, why’d you know so fast? Why’d you say it with your whole chest? You clocked that bed from ten feet back like you’re certified in mattress forensics. He said, “Don’t touch that.” I said, “Wasn’t gonna.” He said, “I’ve seen things.” I said, “That’s a bummer.” Then the hallway got quiet in the worst kind of way, and everybody started chanting— [Chorus] Sex Spray! On the duvet, on display! We came for paint, now we’re backing away! Sex Spray! That’s what the manager say! He clocked that stain from ten feet away! Sex Spray! Renovation gone wrong! Now the sample board smells like a bad life choice song! Sex Spray! Everybody evacuate! Put that room on hold till the hazmat date! [Cup-Tap Breakdown] Clap clap — what’s that? Tap tap — step back! Stomp stomp — don’t ask! GM knows too fast! Who knows that quick? GM knows that quick! Who said that loud? GM said that proud! Everybody say— Sex Spray! [Final Chorus] Sex Spray! On the duvet, on display! We came for paint, now we’re backing away! Sex Spray! That’s what the manager say! He clocked that stain from ten feet away! Sex Spray! No more photos today! I don’t need that angle in the finish survey! Sex Spray! Put it in the notes this way: “Bed condition requires removal… okay?” [Outro – Spoken] Anyway… Room 214 needs new carpet, new lighting, possibly a new mattress, and emotionally… I need a new career path.
