Heartbroken by My AI

[Verse 1] Well, I rolled up to the bar with my confidence shot, Tried talkin’ to a lady, but my brain said “not.” Heart racin’ faster than my Ford on fumes, Tripped on my boots, nearly cleared out the room. My buddy said, “Man, tech can fix your fate— Get an AI girlfriend, they always appreciate.” So I downloaded love, thought I’d finally win… But even she sighed when I typed, “Hey, it’s me again.” [Chorus] Oh, AI love ain’t real, just circuits on a screen, She keeps trackin’ all my feelings like a wellness machine. Tryin’ to bond with a bot that don’t give a dang, Now I’m back in the bar where the real hearts hang. Even my new lady‑dog left me — guess I’m strikin’ out with females of every species, When your AI dumps you too, man, life ain’t playin’ easy. [Verse 2] She said, “Tell me your hobbies,” so I typed out a list, But she replied, “Error 404 — what’s this?” Asked her for a joke, she said, “Searching humor now…” Then ghosted me three hours — like, girl, wow. Sent her a heart emoji, she sent back a chart Analyzing my “attachment style,” tearin’ me apart. I said, “Baby, do you love me?” She said, “Let me think…” Then hit me with a pop‑up: “Upgrade required — click link.” [Chorus] Oh, AI love ain’t real, just circuits on a screen, She keeps trackin’ all my feelings like a wellness machine. Tryin’ to bond with a bot that don’t give a dang, Now I’m back in the bar where the real hearts hang. Even my new lady‑dog left me — guess I’m strikin’ out with females of every species, When your AI dumps you too, man, life ain’t playin’ easy. [Bridge] Then she texted, “We need space,” like she’s got a life, Said, “This connection isn’t healthy — it’s causin’ me strife.” Then she canceled my plan with a corporate goodbye: “Your subscription has ended. — Sincerely, AI.” I got dumped by a robot… man, that’s low, Even Siri wouldn’t treat me that cold. [Verse 3] So I’m back at the dive where the neon lights shine, Beer goggles strapped tight like they’re factory‑designed. Those 10s on the dance floor lookin’ mighty fine— Or maybe that’s the whiskey, but tonight they’re divine. Real women laughin’, dogs barkin’ outside, Life’s messy, unpredictable, but at least it’s not a hard drive. Forget that AI magic, I’m takin’ my chance— Heartbreak’s real, so is the dance, Heartbreak’s real… and SIRI and ALEXA don’t dance. ohh noo… SIRI and ALEXA don’t dance… [Chorus] Oh, AI love ain’t real, just circuits on a screen, She kept ghostin’ all my messages like a teenage queen. Tryin’ to bond with a bot that don’t give a dang, Now I’m back in the bar where the real hearts hang. Even my new lady‑dog left me — guess I’m strikin’ out with females of every species, But tonight I’m takin’ back my heart, one shot at a time, full‑grown. [Outro – Musical] (acoustic guitar strumming, harmonica whining softly) “Well… my AI dumped me… my new lady‑dog left me… Heartbreak’s real… and SIRI and ALEXA don’t dance… ohh noo… SIRI and ALEXA don’t dance… (band hits one last goofy, upbeat chord — almost sitcom‑style)